Lincoln NE (SN) - A legendary resident of Lancaster County that more than dabbles in witchcraft shocked meteorologists Monday when she revealed decades of data proving that Monday's lows were going to be colder than "both of her tits." "...and I'm not even talking about wind chill. I'm talking about the regular number," she told… Continue reading Lincoln Witch Announces Monday’s Lows Colder Than Either of Her Tits Have Ever Been
Lincoln NE (SN) - God went all Sim City and took out a tiny square with a tornado early Sunday evening, resulting in the destruction of C and L Sweet ice cream stand, operated near Pioneers Park. Fortunately the employees escaped from the 40 year-old business just moments before the storm approached Pioneers Park. Lincolnites… Continue reading C and L Dairy Sweet Patrons Reflect on the One Time They Almost Went There
Lincoln NE (SN) - Following National Weather Service meteorologists forcasts that Nebraskans may experience some winter weather conditions during the remaining winter months of 2019, Lincoln Public Schools had no choice but to close until Spring. We sat down with LPS Superintendent Dr. Steve Joel to discuss the chilling decision. "Our hands were tied." Joel… Continue reading LPS Closes School for Rest of Winter 2019, “It Might Snow.”
Omaha NE (SN) - Record high temperatures, extreme rainfall, heavy wind, lightning events, and blizzard conditions are all getting their turn in this Nebraska autumn season, leaving meteorologists scratching their heads. "We're just going to start making shit up at this point" admitted Omaha meteorologist Carla Shea-Simonds. "Honestly I don't even have any other options. The… Continue reading Meteorologists Warn There Could Be Weather in Nebraska as Early as This Morning
Lincoln NE (SN) - As thousands of Nebraska college football fans are still taking their anger towards mother nature to social media after lightning and thunderstorms cancelled Saturday's season opener against Akron, sixteen Husker fans still stand in their assigned seats. "We will not give up on our team this year. Not with Scott Frost… Continue reading 16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff
SNW7 ********************************* URGENT - IMMEDIATE BROADCAST REQUESTED Swass Warning Number 114 NWS Storm Prediction Center Lincoln NE ********************************* 0820 AM EDT Wed Jul 11 2018 The NWS Storm Prediction Center has issued a *Extreme humidity conditions for all portions of Lancaster County *Effective this Wednesday morning and evening from 0920 AM until early September 1150… Continue reading National Weather Service Predicts Summer in Nebraska May Be a “Smidge Humid”
Lincoln NE (SN) - Humidity is continuing to max out in Lincoln, bringing record highs inside Haymarket basement armpit and ongoing host of "Blazin' Pianos," Brewskey's Food & Spirits on 201 N 8th street. The self described "part concert, part comedy show, and 100% fun experience" has long since offered the sweatiest, most obnoxious, drunk… Continue reading Sweaty Drunk Assholes Sighted at Haymarket Brewsky’s “Blazin’ Pianos”
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