Lincoln NE (SN) - The mystery behind Friday morning's reported "parking gate hate" thickened this morning as Mayor Leirion Gaylor Baird announced she was ready to publicly honor the unknown white male. "Whoever you are, please call my office" the Mayor said in a press conference. "The $3,200 in damages is pocket change in contrast… Continue reading Leirion Gifts Key to the City to Parking Garage Freak-Out Guy
Lincoln NE (SN) - It is Halloween in the Star City, and drunken college students are eagerly putting the finishing touches to a wild array of costumes to wear downtown tonight so that one of their friends on social media can become horribly offended. "Oh you're a breathalyzer. Well, as someone that has gotten three… Continue reading “Pissy, Know-It-All, Offended, Social Justice Warrior” Deemed Only Non-Offensive Halloween Costume
Lincoln NE (SN) - The 300 year old witch who lives under Memorial Stadium has confessed to putting a curse on the Husker football team. At a press conference held near the woolly mammoth statue in front of Morrill Hall, Cornelva made her wicked plot known. “The Nebraska Cornhuskers will indeed fall prey to hype… Continue reading 2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch
Lincoln NE (SN) - A buzz is in the air around Lincoln Nebraska, as Cornhusker fans prepare once and for all for the first undefeated season and National Championship since 1997. “Can’t wait. Scott Frost. Number one!” shouted superfan Kevin Lynch. “Wooooooooo!” “I just can’t wait to be there in Santa Clara for the National… Continue reading Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship
Lincoln NE (SN) - 9th street sports bar and fraternity brother hub Barry's Bar & Grill is well on its path to their "keep it a hunnitt®" tavern violation goal for the year, holding an impressive 98 tavern violations coming into the arrival of Fall 2018 later this week. "I remember a few years back… Continue reading Barry’s Just Shy of 100 Tavern Violations Goal for 2018
Lincoln NE (SN) - Following recent controversy over the longtime tradition of releasing balloons at the first Husker touchdown on game days, concerned students can come to the Union on Thursday to grab a free “Trash Will Never Win” shirt and voice their opinions on the celebrations lasting environmental impacts. “The shirts (provided by the University)… Continue reading UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy
Okay you fresh fish... listen up. My name is Mr. Nose It All and I am here to tell you how shit works around here. If you haven't met me yet you will soon because I mass add people on Instagram every single day like a lowlife Mary Kay cosmetics consultant. First order of business:… Continue reading Mr. Nose It All Presents: University of Nebraska Lincoln Student Orientation
Lincoln NE (SN) - A Husker head coach grand theft, starting with claims of 14 stolen championship rings, later downgraded to a missing gaming console, and later downgraded to some missing Air Jordan shoes, took an even more interesting turn when the culprit was captured by LPD early Tuesday morning. Former Husker coach Mike Riley… Continue reading Scott Frost Home Burglar Discovered to Be Former Husker Coach Mike Riley
Lincoln NE (SN) - Over the weekend Lincoln's fanciest bird houses, the Little Free Libraries, became targets by an individual hell bent on spreading messages of hatred across the Capital city when it was discovered that Nazi propaganda had been stuffed inside the free book exchanges. As of this writing the Lincoln Police Department are… Continue reading Bill Moos ‘Fairly Certain’ It Wasn’t Ron Brown Stuffing Libraries with Anti-Semitic Literature
Lincoln NE (SN) - Superstar rocker Tommy Lee has cancelled plans to return to the University of Nebraska - Lincoln next fall to film season 2 of his reality show, "Tommy Lee Goes to College," citing rising tuition rates. "I'm really bummed bro," said a beaten and battered Tommy Lee. "I was super stoked to… Continue reading Tommy Lee Cancels Season 2 of His Reality Show Set at UNL, Cannot Afford Current Tuition Rates
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