patriotism, public safety

So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks

By the time you are sitting on your toilet reading this, it is likely 3:15pm. I know you were up all night drinking vodka Monster energy drink cocktails. I hope you slept well. Your six hour shift at Wendy's starts at 4pm, so take your time. Enjoy this BM. Shit until your legs are numb.… Continue reading So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks

From the editor, where my influencers at?

Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Spring 2019 Internships

Being the most exclusive news source in Nebraska is a lot of work for one lone high school kid. Smell Nebraska is looking for smug, opinionated, unreliable, and difficult to work with candidates for our Spring 2019 internship program. Our positions range from taking photos of the miserable losers getting drunk at 2pm on a… Continue reading Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Spring 2019 Internships