sports n snorts, total failure

Well… Fuck.

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Nebraska Cornhuskers lost to the Purdue Boilermakers 42-28 on Saturday, the 7th straight loss at home. After an early 7-0 lead, Nebraska surrendered 27 unanswered points to eventually fall to the Boilermakers who are now 2-3. Nebraska is now winless on the year, with games against powerhouses Wisconsin, Ohio State,… Continue reading Well… Fuck.

chicken wings, cold brews, politics

State Auditor to Turn Old Legislature Room into Sports Bar

Lincoln NE (SN) - With all of the painstaking and thankless work dumped in the laps of our state Government employees, state auditor Charlie Janssen has one dream: To convert a currently vacant room in the state legislature into a sports bar. "See we can buy like 20 flat screen TV's, throw a cooler over… Continue reading State Auditor to Turn Old Legislature Room into Sports Bar

Slow Nuesday, sports n snorts

16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff

Lincoln NE (SN) - As thousands of Nebraska college football fans are still taking their anger towards mother nature to social media after lightning and thunderstorms cancelled Saturday's season opener against Akron, sixteen Husker fans still stand in their assigned seats. "We will not give up on our team this year. Not with Scott Frost… Continue reading 16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff

huskers, sports n snorts

Lincoln Bartenders Excited For Husker Season to Make Money, Hate Everyone

Lincoln NE (SN) - With the first game of the Nebraska Cornhusker football season just a week away, Lincoln bartenders are gearing up to make a lot of money while hating every customer they serve. “I love football season,” says Longwell’s bartender Matt Paxton. “I can make enough money to pay all my rent and… Continue reading Lincoln Bartenders Excited For Husker Season to Make Money, Hate Everyone

Slow Nuesday, sports n snorts

Twitter’s @FauxPelini to Become @NottFrost Ahead of New Husker Season

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Huskers "Frost Warning" is spreading across the state with the upcoming season of football approaches, leading hundreds of sports heads and online personalities asking, "how do I get my piece of the HYPE?" Infamous Twitter handle @FauxPelini is no exception. Since the Twitter moniker belongs to a fellow high school… Continue reading Twitter’s @FauxPelini to Become @NottFrost Ahead of New Husker Season

crime, huskers, sports n snorts

Scott Frost Home Burglar Discovered to Be Former Husker Coach Mike Riley

Lincoln NE (SN) - A Husker head coach grand theft, starting with claims of 14 stolen championship rings, later downgraded to a missing gaming console, and later downgraded to some missing Air Jordan shoes, took an even more interesting turn when the culprit was captured by LPD early Tuesday morning. Former Husker coach Mike Riley… Continue reading Scott Frost Home Burglar Discovered to Be Former Husker Coach Mike Riley

Controversy, food & dining, sports n snorts

Valentino’s President Resigns After Supporting Iowa Hawkeyes in Leaked Conference Call Audio

Lincoln NE (SN) - It has been a terrible week for mediocre pizza chain higher ups, as an audio file, leaked early Thursday morning, of a recent conference call where Valentino's Pizza company president Tony Messineo praised the Iowa Hawkeyes. "You have to admit it, Iowa has been figuring it out, while we keep paying coaches… Continue reading Valentino’s President Resigns After Supporting Iowa Hawkeyes in Leaked Conference Call Audio