sports n snorts, the paranormal

2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch

Lincoln NE (SN) - The 300 year old witch who lives under Memorial Stadium has confessed to putting a curse on the Husker football team. At a press conference held near the woolly mammoth statue in front of Morrill Hall, Cornelva made her wicked plot known. “The Nebraska Cornhuskers will indeed fall prey to hype… Continue reading 2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch

sports n snorts, total failure

Well… Fuck.

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Nebraska Cornhuskers lost to the Purdue Boilermakers 42-28 on Saturday, the 7th straight loss at home. After an early 7-0 lead, Nebraska surrendered 27 unanswered points to eventually fall to the Boilermakers who are now 2-3. Nebraska is now winless on the year, with games against powerhouses Wisconsin, Ohio State,… Continue reading Well… Fuck.

GBR, sports n snorts

Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship

Lincoln NE (SN) - A buzz is in the air around Lincoln Nebraska, as Cornhusker fans prepare once and for all for the first undefeated season and National Championship since 1997. “Can’t wait. Scott Frost. Number one!” shouted superfan Kevin Lynch. “Wooooooooo!” “I just can’t wait to be there in Santa Clara for the National… Continue reading Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship

sports n snorts

Nebraska Football Adds Bethune-Cookman to the Schedule, Nebraska Can Now Win at Least One Game

Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Athletic Director Bill Moos has announced that Nebraska will play FCS Bethune-Cookman on October 27th, in a last ditch effort to win a game this season. “At this point it’s our only chance for a win,” says Moos. “Have you seen our team lately? Sure we have had some bad… Continue reading Nebraska Football Adds Bethune-Cookman to the Schedule, Nebraska Can Now Win at Least One Game

college life, sports n snorts, TLDRsdays

UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy

Lincoln NE (SN) - Following recent controversy over the longtime tradition of releasing balloons at the first Husker touchdown on game days, concerned students can come to the Union on Thursday to grab a free “Trash Will Never Win” shirt and voice their opinions on the celebrations lasting environmental impacts. “The shirts (provided by the University)… Continue reading UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy

Slow Nuesday, sports n snorts

Twitter’s @FauxPelini to Become @NottFrost Ahead of New Husker Season

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Huskers "Frost Warning" is spreading across the state with the upcoming season of football approaches, leading hundreds of sports heads and online personalities asking, "how do I get my piece of the HYPE?" Infamous Twitter handle @FauxPelini is no exception. Since the Twitter moniker belongs to a fellow high school… Continue reading Twitter’s @FauxPelini to Become @NottFrost Ahead of New Husker Season

homophobia, sports n snorts

Bill Moos ‘Fairly Certain’ It Wasn’t Ron Brown Stuffing Libraries with Anti-Semitic Literature

Lincoln NE (SN) - Over the weekend Lincoln's fanciest bird houses, the Little Free Libraries, became targets by an individual hell bent on spreading messages of hatred across the Capital city when it was discovered that Nazi propaganda had been stuffed inside the free book exchanges. As of this writing the Lincoln Police Department are… Continue reading Bill Moos ‘Fairly Certain’ It Wasn’t Ron Brown Stuffing Libraries with Anti-Semitic Literature