Lincoln NE (SN) - In a planet virtually shut down to prevent the rapid spread of the Caronavirus, every single human sits in uncertainty. Except Marcus Mason, who is absolutely confident that everything will be a-okay, because Elizabeth Warren, who dropped out of the Presidential race on March 5th, will be THE winner of the… Continue reading “Check Your Privilege” Guy Blocks His Last Remaining Facebook Friend
Lincoln NE (SN) - It is election day in Lincoln, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in the star city forever. "I've got my cutest outfit… Continue reading 2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You
Lincoln NE (SN) - With the controversy surrounding young, dancing, elected officials at it's peak in US history, newly discovered photo evidence is now bringing United States Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE) to the limelight. The image from a high school prom, leaked by an anonymous former classmate, shows the [then] 16 year old Senator in… Continue reading Photo Surfaces of High School Junior Deb Fischer Sitting Alone at Prom, Never Asked to Dance by Anyone
Lincoln NE (SN) - With the primary election out of the way, Nebraskans may once again shed their political passions and return to bitching about just about everything else on the internet. The campaigns are on the wayside for now, but the campaign yard signs will remain. An agreement was made on both sides of… Continue reading Nebraska Politicians to Just Leave Signs in People’s Yards for Next Election
Lincoln NE (SN) - Sean Flowerday, Democratic candidate for the District 1 County Commissioner seat, held a press conference Monday morning promising to end his negative campaign ads as Tuesday's state primary election approaches. "I've had a lot of comments from concerned constituents regarding my negative ads and promotional photos, namely my intimidating, soul-less glare."… Continue reading Sean Flowerday Promises to Take Campaign Photos of Him Smiling If He Wins Tuesday’s Primary
Omaha NE (SN) - The Reptilians, a sect of lizard people living among us, have officially endorsed Taylor Royal (R) for Nebraska State Treasurer. The Reptilian spokesthing, Glabnar Svvvevyn, issued a statement on Thursday afternoon. “We feel that Taylor Royal is the best human for the job of Nebraska State Treasurer,” said Svvvevyn. “He is… Continue reading Reptilians Officially Endorse Taylor Royal for Nebraska State Treasurer
Washington D.C. (SN) - On Tuesday, in a congressional hearing lasting for over 5 hours, Senators Deb Fischer (R., Neb), Ben Sasse (R., Neb) and over 40 of their prankster colleagues questioned Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg about the recent failings of his company. Unbeknownst to the general public, before the hearing began each Senator agreed… Continue reading Senator Deb Fischer Wins the Senate’s Straight Face Contest, “Who Can Ask The Dumbest Facebook Question Without Cracking Up?”
Lincoln NE (SN) - In a statement Thursday, Governor Pete Ricketts offered thoughts and prayers to the victims in Wednesday’s school shooting in Parkland Florida. “I send our thoughts and prayers to all those impacted by this senseless shooting, and we will also raise our flags to half staff because that makes a huge difference… Continue reading Governor Ricketts Offers Thoughts And Prayers, 17 Dead Floridians Come Back To Life
Lincoln NE (SN) - State Senator Anna Wishart greatly pleased her progressive constituents last Thursday when she introduced a constitutional amendment resolution to put the legalization of medical cannabis in the voters hands. "Tens of thousands of Nebraskans are needlessly suffering because they don't have access to medical cannabis, including veterans, children and the terminally… Continue reading State Senator Was Going To Introduce Amendment Leaving Legalization of Medical Marijuana to Nebraska Voters, but then She Got High
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