Omaha NE (SN) - In response to the, still unsolved, murder of 23 year old Michael Rowell, every musical host in the greater Omaha, Nebraska area will only allow musical guests prepared to cover songs originally written by the Dave Matthews Band. The team decision, reluctantly came after a deadly shooting on August 9th, after… Continue reading All Omaha Music Venues to Ban Every Band That Isn’t a Dave Matthews Band Cover Band Following Fatal Shooting
Omaha NE (SN) - Expecting a huge turnout for the College World Series, The Old Mattress Factory has set up a cover charge at the Omaha Airport for every person attending the College World Series. “New Cover Policy: If you are attending the College World series there is a $20 cover to enter Omaha.” says… Continue reading The Old Mattress Factory Charges a $20 Cover at the Eppley Airfield Gate
Omaha NE (SN) - Hearts are broken in the city of Omaha as pop star Ariana Grande canceled her scheduled April concert, performing instead at the smarter, more popular, and more attractive Coachella Festival. "The CHI Health Center in Omaha looks like a really nice venue. I'll always be friends with Omaha, but I think… Continue reading Clueless Nebraskan Males Thought Their City Had a Shot with Ariana Grande Concert
Omaha NE (SN) - Record high temperatures, extreme rainfall, heavy wind, lightning events, and blizzard conditions are all getting their turn in this Nebraska autumn season, leaving meteorologists scratching their heads. "We're just going to start making shit up at this point" admitted Omaha meteorologist Carla Shea-Simonds. "Honestly I don't even have any other options. The… Continue reading Meteorologists Warn There Could Be Weather in Nebraska as Early as This Morning
Omaha NE (SN) - Low attendance numbers and an overall lack of enthusiasm for arena shows in general has lead the CenturyLink Center to changing its name to "For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here" Center. Numerous buildings have changed names recently, as The Creighton Medical Center announced that they are changing… Continue reading CenturyLink Center to be Renamed “For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here Center”
Omaha NE (SN) - The Reptilians, a sect of lizard people living among us, have officially endorsed Taylor Royal (R) for Nebraska State Treasurer. The Reptilian spokesthing, Glabnar Svvvevyn, issued a statement on Thursday afternoon. “We feel that Taylor Royal is the best human for the job of Nebraska State Treasurer,” said Svvvevyn. “He is… Continue reading Reptilians Officially Endorse Taylor Royal for Nebraska State Treasurer
Omaha NE (SN) - Walmart employees are sick and tired of the parade of musicians performing in their store. Spurred on by the recent success of “Yodeling Boy,” hundreds of wanna-be musicians have flocked to Walmart to record their talents and try to make it big. Yodeling Boy, whose real name is Mason Ramsey, recently… Continue reading Walmart Employees Tired of Hopeful Musicians Performing in the Store
Omaha NE (SN) - It started out as any other night for Claire Robinson. She was out running some errands Sunday night, hoping to get home before the start of “This Is Us.” She pulled into an ordinary parking stall at the Cubby’s gas station at 13th and Jackson in Omaha. Robinson left the vehicle… Continue reading Police and Paranormal Investigators Have No Answers For Missing SUV at 13th and Jackson Cubby’s Gas Station
Sports ‘n Snorts | Lincoln NE (SN) - The girls state high school basketball tournament is in full swing attracting thousands of basketball fans and dozens of weird creeps. “This and state volleyball are my favorite times of the year,” says Marvin Daniels (age 46). “I really enjoy the competition and the games. Good games.… Continue reading Nebraska’s Weird Creeps Excited for Girls State High School Basketball Because They “Love Sports”
Omaha NE (SN) - On Monday, Omaha’s cocaine dealers gathered together to petition the mayor’s office to enact an ordinance to make the city’s bathrooms darker. “We stand here today to ask mayor for one thing, to make our bathrooms darker again!” says infamous coke dealer Tyrone Harris, know as T-Dawg on the street. “It’s… Continue reading Omaha Cocaine Dealers Petition Mayor’s Office For Darker Bathrooms
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