hacky sacks, mass shootings

All Omaha Music Venues to Ban Every Band That Isn’t a Dave Matthews Band Cover Band Following Fatal Shooting

Omaha NE (SN) - In response to the, still unsolved, murder of 23 year old Michael Rowell, every musical host in the greater Omaha, Nebraska area will only allow musical guests prepared to cover songs originally written by the Dave Matthews Band. The team decision, reluctantly came after a deadly shooting on August 9th, after… Continue reading All Omaha Music Venues to Ban Every Band That Isn’t a Dave Matthews Band Cover Band Following Fatal Shooting

parking, sports n snorts

The Old Mattress Factory Charges a $20 Cover at the Eppley Airfield Gate

Omaha NE (SN) - Expecting a huge turnout for the College World Series, The Old Mattress Factory has set up a cover charge at the Omaha Airport for every person attending the College World Series. “New Cover Policy: If you are attending the College World series there is a $20 cover to enter Omaha.” says… Continue reading The Old Mattress Factory Charges a $20 Cover at the Eppley Airfield Gate

huge creeps, music

Clueless Nebraskan Males Thought Their City Had a Shot with Ariana Grande Concert

Omaha NE (SN) - Hearts are broken in the city of Omaha as pop star Ariana Grande canceled her scheduled April concert, performing instead at the smarter, more popular, and more attractive Coachella Festival. "The CHI Health Center in Omaha looks like a really nice venue. I'll always be friends with Omaha, but I think… Continue reading Clueless Nebraskan Males Thought Their City Had a Shot with Ariana Grande Concert

weather alerts

Meteorologists Warn There Could Be Weather in Nebraska as Early as This Morning

Omaha NE (SN) - Record high temperatures, extreme rainfall, heavy wind, lightning events, and blizzard conditions are all getting their turn in this Nebraska autumn season, leaving meteorologists scratching their heads. "We're just going to start making shit up at this point" admitted Omaha meteorologist Carla Shea-Simonds. "Honestly I don't even have any other options. The… Continue reading Meteorologists Warn There Could Be Weather in Nebraska as Early as This Morning

entertainment, omaha

CenturyLink Center to be Renamed “For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here Center”

Omaha NE (SN) - Low attendance numbers and an overall lack of enthusiasm for arena shows in general has lead the CenturyLink Center to changing its name to "For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here" Center. Numerous buildings have changed names recently, as The Creighton Medical Center announced that they are changing… Continue reading CenturyLink Center to be Renamed “For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here Center”

politics, Sniff The Vote

Reptilians Officially Endorse Taylor Royal for Nebraska State Treasurer

Omaha NE (SN) - The Reptilians, a sect of lizard people living among us, have officially endorsed Taylor Royal (R) for Nebraska State Treasurer. The Reptilian spokesthing, Glabnar Svvvevyn, issued a statement on Thursday afternoon. “We feel that Taylor Royal is the best human for the job of Nebraska State Treasurer,” said Svvvevyn. “He is… Continue reading Reptilians Officially Endorse Taylor Royal for Nebraska State Treasurer

music, TLDRsdays

Walmart Employees Tired of Hopeful Musicians Performing in the Store

Omaha NE (SN) - Walmart employees are sick and tired of the parade of musicians performing in their store. Spurred on by the recent success of “Yodeling Boy,” hundreds of wanna-be musicians have flocked to Walmart to record their talents and try to make it big. Yodeling Boy, whose real name is Mason Ramsey, recently… Continue reading Walmart Employees Tired of Hopeful Musicians Performing in the Store