From the editor, TLDRsdays

Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Fall 2018 Internships

Being the most exclusive news source in Nebraska is a lot of work for one lone high school kid. Smell Nebraska is looking for smug, opinionated, unreliable, and difficult to work with candidates for our Fall 2018 internship program. Our positions range from taking photos of the miserable losers getting drunk at 2pm on a… Continue reading Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Fall 2018 Internships

Slow Nuesday, sports n snorts

16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff

Lincoln NE (SN) - As thousands of Nebraska college football fans are still taking their anger towards mother nature to social media after lightning and thunderstorms cancelled Saturday's season opener against Akron, sixteen Husker fans still stand in their assigned seats. "We will not give up on our team this year. Not with Scott Frost… Continue reading 16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff

huskers, sports n snorts

Lincoln Bartenders Excited For Husker Season to Make Money, Hate Everyone

Lincoln NE (SN) - With the first game of the Nebraska Cornhusker football season just a week away, Lincoln bartenders are gearing up to make a lot of money while hating every customer they serve. “I love football season,” says Longwell’s bartender Matt Paxton. “I can make enough money to pay all my rent and… Continue reading Lincoln Bartenders Excited For Husker Season to Make Money, Hate Everyone

A Penny For Your Snoughts, student life

Mr. Nose It All Presents: University of Nebraska Lincoln Student Orientation

Okay you fresh fish... listen up. My name is Mr. Nose It All and I am here to tell you how shit works around here. If you haven't met me yet you will soon because I mass add people on Instagram every single day like a lowlife Mary Kay cosmetics consultant. First order of business:… Continue reading Mr. Nose It All Presents: University of Nebraska Lincoln Student Orientation

executions, politics

Governor Pete Ricketts Finally Completes His Life’s Work of Killing a Death Row Inmate Just Days Before His 54th Birthday

Lincoln NE (SN) - The stars have aligned, and Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts will finally fulfill a campaign promise, executing a death row inmate, and just days shy of his 54th birthday on Sunday, August 19th. An aide reported the Governor is "obviously, very excited." "Unless some bull-shit red tape of an appeal spawns out… Continue reading Governor Pete Ricketts Finally Completes His Life’s Work of Killing a Death Row Inmate Just Days Before His 54th Birthday

beverages, white people

Hastings Takes Kool-Aid Days 2018 to New Levels, Enhancing Water Supply With “Great Bluedini” Flavoring

Hasting NE (SN) - The birthplace of Kool-Aid is oozing with anticipation for this year's Kool-Aid Days festival, with hundreds of local residents taking initiative to cover every last little touch to take the festival to the next level before Friday's kick-off. From volunteers assisting the park's department to clean up the Hastings Aquacourt to… Continue reading Hastings Takes Kool-Aid Days 2018 to New Levels, Enhancing Water Supply With “Great Bluedini” Flavoring

downtown lincoln, Technology, the environment

1867 Bar to Change Name to 4867 Bar, Serve Everything in Stainless Steel

Lincoln NE (SN) - After an announcement that downtown Lincoln's 1867 Bar would be phasing out plastic straws, offering $1 metal straws as an alternative, the bar decided it would be best to just make everything there stainless steel. The drinking straw decision has been gaining in popularity worldwide in lieu of the environmental impact… Continue reading 1867 Bar to Change Name to 4867 Bar, Serve Everything in Stainless Steel