Lincoln NE (SN) - The passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dealt a blow to the United States Friday evening, hoisting Ginsburg's powerhouse career into conversations all over the country. "She is finally dead, huh?" Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse told Smell Nebraska reporters. "Phew! I was beginning to think she was going to… Continue reading Republican Ben Sasse Honors Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Flies Tiny Dick at Half Mast
Hastings Nebraska (SN) - A simple appearance and a short speech for a pro-life rally at St. Cecilia's Catholic Church went sideways Thursday night after a clearly labeled vial of death penalty drugs fell from Governor Pete Rickett's suit jacket during a speech. The vial, labeled "Daddy's Lethal Injection Cocktail!" which proceeded to bounce off… Continue reading Ricketts Scrambles to Pick up Clearly Labeled Vial of Death Penalty Drugs After It Falls from His Pocket During Speech
Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts held a press conference Wednesday morning, announcing that he had made the scientific conclusion that cannabis was, in fact, so dangerous, that it will now be Nebraska's lone method of execution. "In recent years, the use of K2, a synthetic form of marijuana, has spread in Nebraska… Continue reading Ricketts Deems Marijuana so Dangerous It Is the New Death Penalty Drug
Greetings bald, thumb/cock skull enthusiasts! Smell Nebraska has reluctantly dedicated this week to Nebraska's 40th Governor. We aren't sure why. Stay tuned throughout the week for #smellpricketts coverage old and new, and please, honor and share the hash tag. -Editor
Lincoln NE (SN) - A complete fucking idiot emailed the Mayor’s office complaining that a statue of Spiderman’s hands were “demonic, perverse, anti-christian, a hate crime against the church, and way too big for Spiderman.” City ombudsman (whatever that is) Liz Quenzer had a hearty laugh at the email. “Of course it’s demonic. We have… Continue reading Complete Fucking Idiots Think Spider-Man’s Hands Are Devil Horns
Lincoln NE (SN) - Dozens of musical aspirations were crushed Saturday evening as Lincoln's Machete Archive reunited to, once again, prove that they are boundlessly and technically more talented than you at their respected instruments. The trio, who headlined a commanding line-up at Duffy's Tavern, effortlessly pumped out jam after jam of their unique blend… Continue reading Machete Archive Returns, Reminds Every Other Local Musician That They Suck Balls at Their Instrument
Lincoln NE (SN) - The mystery behind Friday morning's reported "parking gate hate" thickened this morning as Mayor Leirion Gaylor Baird announced she was ready to publicly honor the unknown white male. "Whoever you are, please call my office" the Mayor said in a press conference. "The $3,200 in damages is pocket change in contrast… Continue reading Leirion Gifts Key to the City to Parking Garage Freak-Out Guy
Omaha NE (SN) - Expecting a huge turnout for the College World Series, The Old Mattress Factory has set up a cover charge at the Omaha Airport for every person attending the College World Series. “New Cover Policy: If you are attending the College World series there is a $20 cover to enter Omaha.” says… Continue reading The Old Mattress Factory Charges a $20 Cover at the Eppley Airfield Gate
Lincoln NE (SN) - It is election day in Lincoln, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in the star city forever. "I've got my cutest outfit… Continue reading 2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You
Lincoln NE (SN) - God went all Sim City and took out a tiny square with a tornado early Sunday evening, resulting in the destruction of C and L Sweet ice cream stand, operated near Pioneers Park. Fortunately the employees escaped from the 40 year-old business just moments before the storm approached Pioneers Park. Lincolnites… Continue reading C and L Dairy Sweet Patrons Reflect on the One Time They Almost Went There
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