politics, sniff out the vote

2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

Lincoln NE (SN) - It is election day in Lincoln, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in the star city forever. "I've got my cutest outfit… Continue reading 2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

natural disasters, sweets 'n treats

C and L Dairy Sweet Patrons Reflect on the One Time They Almost Went There

Lincoln NE (SN) - God went all Sim City and took out a tiny square with a tornado early Sunday evening, resulting in the destruction of C and L Sweet ice cream stand, operated near Pioneers Park. Fortunately the employees escaped from the 40 year-old business just moments before the storm approached Pioneers Park. Lincolnites… Continue reading C and L Dairy Sweet Patrons Reflect on the One Time They Almost Went There

nebraska strong, thoughts & prayers

Ricketts Decrees April 7th as Statewide Day of Prayer, God: “Thank U, Next.”

Lincoln NE (SN) - Due to the unprecedented flooding and destruction the state has endured over the last month, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts has declared April 7th as a Statewide Day of Prayer. Ricketts, eschewing the constraints of the separation of church and state and channeling his inner Charlemagne, issued the phony baloney proclamation on… Continue reading Ricketts Decrees April 7th as Statewide Day of Prayer, God: “Thank U, Next.”

deck the halls, taxpayer dollars

Downtown Lincoln Association Approves Random Numbered Christmas Decorations for 2018

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Downtown Lincoln Association has approved a measure to decorate O street with random numbered Christmas decorations for the 11th year in a row. “We find these confusing illuminated numbers really fill people with holiday spirit," said spokesperson Betty Johnson. "People drive from miles around to look at the numbers and… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Association Approves Random Numbered Christmas Decorations for 2018

politics, sniff out the vote

Deb Fischer Mistakenly Believes They Call Her “Blunt” in Washington

Lincoln NE (SN) - In a campaign ad, Senator Deb Fischer proudly proclaims that they call her “blunt” in Washington. A quick survey of her colleagues shows that is not exactly true. “I don’t know about ‘blunt,’ says Senate Minority Leader Chuck Shumer (D-NY). “We call her something very close to that, but not ‘blunt.’… Continue reading Deb Fischer Mistakenly Believes They Call Her “Blunt” in Washington

politics, sniff out the vote

Fortenberry Interns Forced to Call Thousands of People Who Liked the Googley-Eyed Fartenberry Facebook Picture

Lincoln NE (SN) - Interns for Congressman Jeff Fortenberry have had a busy weekend, as they have been forced to call each individual who liked a picture on Facebook of a vandalized Fortenberry campaign sign. “It’s been a long weekend,” says staff intern Ben Samuels. “I have to figure out who these people are, their… Continue reading Fortenberry Interns Forced to Call Thousands of People Who Liked the Googley-Eyed Fartenberry Facebook Picture

From the editor, white people

Nebraska Changes Tourism Slogan: “Our Football Team Doesn’t Win and Our Governor Looks Like A Human Cock”

Voyaging as far away from either ocean as you can in the United States of America, you may stumble across Nebraska. We are a simple and proud bunch, after all, we live THE GOOD LIFE. We may be as bland as the white mom one-note chili cooked by one-note white Midwestern moms, but our non-spiced… Continue reading Nebraska Changes Tourism Slogan: “Our Football Team Doesn’t Win and Our Governor Looks Like A Human Cock”