failed businesses, total failure

Tumbleweed Family Excited to Blow Around the Empty Railyard

Lincoln NE (SN) - A family of four tumbleweeds were discovered blowing around in the uninhabited Railyard development Tuesday morning, even making their way to the vacant third floor, where the Rule G Night Club recently closed forever. The rapey frat bar was one of few remaining tenants dating from the development project's grand opening… Continue reading Tumbleweed Family Excited to Blow Around the Empty Railyard

Hot Dogs In Tortillas, white people

Downtown Lincoln Amigos to Serve It’s Last Microwaved Hot Lettuce Soft Taco

Lincoln NE (SN) - The downtown Lincoln Amigos location, known for its cool hangs and the spiciest authentic Mexican ranch dressing nachos, will be closing later this month. Growth Management Corp, owner of the 14th and Q location, announced the 37 year old downtown staple would be closing on December 13th. "I was ordering real… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Amigos to Serve It’s Last Microwaved Hot Lettuce Soft Taco

#smellpricketts, From the editor

Smell Nebraska Unveils PETE RICKETTS WEEK

Greetings bald, thumb/cock skull enthusiasts! Smell Nebraska has reluctantly dedicated this week to Nebraska's 40th Governor. We aren't sure why. Stay tuned throughout the week for #smellpricketts coverage old and new, and please, honor and share the hash tag. -Editor

sculptures, the devil, the dumb

Complete Fucking Idiots Think Spider-Man’s Hands Are Devil Horns

Lincoln NE (SN) - A complete fucking idiot emailed the Mayor’s office complaining that a statue of Spiderman’s hands were “demonic, perverse, anti-christian, a hate crime against the church, and way too big for Spiderman.” City ombudsman (whatever that is) Liz Quenzer had a hearty laugh at the email. “Of course it’s demonic. We have… Continue reading Complete Fucking Idiots Think Spider-Man’s Hands Are Devil Horns

gentrification, poor people

Pastor Deems Every Neighborhood North of Van Dorn “Breeding Ground for Problems”

Lincoln NE (SN) - With buildings up to 147 years old in the neighborhoods spanning South street all the way to Superior, it is no surprise that parts of the region would be reserved for middle and low income housing. Jeff Heerspink, pastor of the F Street Neighborhood Church, has come forward with a solution… Continue reading Pastor Deems Every Neighborhood North of Van Dorn “Breeding Ground for Problems”

crime beat, good for him

Leirion Gifts Key to the City to Parking Garage Freak-Out Guy

Lincoln NE (SN) - The mystery behind Friday morning's reported "parking gate hate" thickened this morning as Mayor Leirion Gaylor Baird announced she was ready to publicly honor the unknown white male. "Whoever you are, please call my office" the Mayor said in a press conference. "The $3,200 in damages is pocket change in contrast… Continue reading Leirion Gifts Key to the City to Parking Garage Freak-Out Guy

lincoln is a music city

Fyre Festival’s Billy McFarland Promises Lincoln Exposed 2019 Will Go Smoothly

Lincoln NE (SN) - Star City bands growing nervous of the overall legitimacy of this year's Lincoln Exposed festival were heaving sighs of relief Monday, after the festival's promoters promised "the most hype AF Lincoln Exposed ever." "We know that all of the bands found out if they were playing, the date, time, and location… Continue reading Fyre Festival’s Billy McFarland Promises Lincoln Exposed 2019 Will Go Smoothly