Lincoln NE (SN) - Jacob Campbell sure is running for Lincoln’s south-central District 29. We're not really sure who he is, but South Lincoln residents are well aware that he is indeed running. "I wanted to prove to the people of South Lincoln that I have absolutely no environmental record," Campbell said. "So on day… Continue reading Jacob Campbell for Legislature Really Wants You To Know Jacob Campbell is Running for Legislature
Lincoln NE (SN) - With five more COVID-19 cases confirmed in Lancaster county this afternoon, and even Nebraska's pro-death Governor urging for early testing, one fact remains true: You don't have to wear a mask, you pussy. You're being a baby. You're blowing this out of proportion. It is a liberal hoax. Retired mechanic Kirby… Continue reading More People Die Every Year From Your Mom, You Troll Dickweed
Lincoln NE (SN) - Reports started to pour in Friday morning that the sink in the men's room at Duffy's Tavern started to function as normally intended. The sink, located on 1412 O Street, had apparently never been turned to the "on" position until that moment, leaving bar staff and patrons baffled. "I didn't even… Continue reading Men’s Room Sink at Duffy’s Tavern Used for the First Time
Lincoln NE (SN) - A family of four tumbleweeds were discovered blowing around in the uninhabited Railyard development Tuesday morning, even making their way to the vacant third floor, where the Rule G Night Club recently closed forever. The rapey frat bar was one of few remaining tenants dating from the development project's grand opening… Continue reading Tumbleweed Family Excited to Blow Around the Empty Railyard
Lincoln NE (SN) - The downtown Lincoln Amigos location, known for its cool hangs and the spiciest authentic Mexican ranch dressing nachos, will be closing later this month. Growth Management Corp, owner of the 14th and Q location, announced the 37 year old downtown staple would be closing on December 13th. "I was ordering real… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Amigos to Serve It’s Last Microwaved Hot Lettuce Soft Taco
Hastings Nebraska (SN) - A simple appearance and a short speech for a pro-life rally at St. Cecilia's Catholic Church went sideways Thursday night after a clearly labeled vial of death penalty drugs fell from Governor Pete Rickett's suit jacket during a speech. The vial, labeled "Daddy's Lethal Injection Cocktail!" which proceeded to bounce off… Continue reading Ricketts Scrambles to Pick up Clearly Labeled Vial of Death Penalty Drugs After It Falls from His Pocket During Speech
Greetings bald, thumb/cock skull enthusiasts! Smell Nebraska has reluctantly dedicated this week to Nebraska's 40th Governor. We aren't sure why. Stay tuned throughout the week for #smellpricketts coverage old and new, and please, honor and share the hash tag. -Editor
Lincoln NE (SN) - A complete fucking idiot emailed the Mayor’s office complaining that a statue of Spiderman’s hands were “demonic, perverse, anti-christian, a hate crime against the church, and way too big for Spiderman.” City ombudsman (whatever that is) Liz Quenzer had a hearty laugh at the email. “Of course it’s demonic. We have… Continue reading Complete Fucking Idiots Think Spider-Man’s Hands Are Devil Horns
Lincoln NE (SN) - Dozens of musical aspirations were crushed Saturday evening as Lincoln's Machete Archive reunited to, once again, prove that they are boundlessly and technically more talented than you at their respected instruments. The trio, who headlined a commanding line-up at Duffy's Tavern, effortlessly pumped out jam after jam of their unique blend… Continue reading Machete Archive Returns, Reminds Every Other Local Musician That They Suck Balls at Their Instrument
Lincoln NE (SN) - With buildings up to 147 years old in the neighborhoods spanning South street all the way to Superior, it is no surprise that parts of the region would be reserved for middle and low income housing. Jeff Heerspink, pastor of the F Street Neighborhood Church, has come forward with a solution… Continue reading Pastor Deems Every Neighborhood North of Van Dorn “Breeding Ground for Problems”
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