Lincoln NE (SN) - The passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dealt a blow to the United States Friday evening, hoisting Ginsburg's powerhouse career into conversations all over the country. "She is finally dead, huh?" Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse told Smell Nebraska reporters. "Phew! I was beginning to think she was going to… Continue reading Republican Ben Sasse Honors Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Flies Tiny Dick at Half Mast
With the cancellation of college football games for 2020, the Nebraska Football team has secured their first undefeated season since 1997. “This is a win-win for our program,” says head coach Scott Frost. “Not only do we get to go undefeated, but we don’t have to get blown out 48-7 by Ohio State or get… Continue reading Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997
Lincoln NE (SN) - The mystery behind Friday morning's reported "parking gate hate" thickened this morning as Mayor Leirion Gaylor Baird announced she was ready to publicly honor the unknown white male. "Whoever you are, please call my office" the Mayor said in a press conference. "The $3,200 in damages is pocket change in contrast… Continue reading Leirion Gifts Key to the City to Parking Garage Freak-Out Guy
Life stinks? Email Mr. Nose It All today at SmellNebraska@gmail.com with the subject line HELP! We also accept Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, and Instagram DMs. Dear Mr. Nose It All- Via Instagram DM: How do you know if someone is really into you or not? -@macxaroni Dear common eighth grader: The answer is in your grasps. We… Continue reading Ask Mr. Nose It All 12/13/2018
Voyaging as far away from either ocean as you can in the United States of America, you may stumble across Nebraska. We are a simple and proud bunch, after all, we live THE GOOD LIFE. We may be as bland as the white mom one-note chili cooked by one-note white Midwestern moms, but our non-spiced… Continue reading Nebraska Changes Tourism Slogan: “Our Football Team Doesn’t Win and Our Governor Looks Like A Human Cock”
Lincoln NE (SN) - The Nebraska Cornhuskers lost to the Purdue Boilermakers 42-28 on Saturday, the 7th straight loss at home. After an early 7-0 lead, Nebraska surrendered 27 unanswered points to eventually fall to the Boilermakers who are now 2-3. Nebraska is now winless on the year, with games against powerhouses Wisconsin, Ohio State,… Continue reading Well… Fuck.
Lincoln NE (SN) - A buzz is in the air around Lincoln Nebraska, as Cornhusker fans prepare once and for all for the first undefeated season and National Championship since 1997. “Can’t wait. Scott Frost. Number one!” shouted superfan Kevin Lynch. “Wooooooooo!” “I just can’t wait to be there in Santa Clara for the National… Continue reading Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship
Lincoln NE (SN) - 9th street sports bar and fraternity brother hub Barry's Bar & Grill is well on its path to their "keep it a hunnitt®" tavern violation goal for the year, holding an impressive 98 tavern violations coming into the arrival of Fall 2018 later this week. "I remember a few years back… Continue reading Barry’s Just Shy of 100 Tavern Violations Goal for 2018
Life stinks? Email Mr. Nose It All today at SmellNebraska@gmail.com with the subject line HELP! We also accept Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, and Instagram DMs. Dear Mr. Nose It All- Help! I just moved here for college, my new roommate and I got too drunk about a week ago and ended up sleeping together. Should... we talk… Continue reading Ask Mr. Nose It All 9/12/2018
Lincoln NE (SN) - Following recent controversy over the longtime tradition of releasing balloons at the first Husker touchdown on game days, concerned students can come to the Union on Thursday to grab a free “Trash Will Never Win” shirt and voice their opinions on the celebrations lasting environmental impacts. “The shirts (provided by the University)… Continue reading UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy
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