With the cancellation of college football games for 2020, the Nebraska Football team has secured their first undefeated season since 1997. “This is a win-win for our program,” says head coach Scott Frost. “Not only do we get to go undefeated, but we don’t have to get blown out 48-7 by Ohio State or get… Continue reading Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997
Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln Police Department and the Lincoln city health department faced a showdown over the weekend with Benjamin Madsen, owner of Madsen's Bowling and Billiards. The drama ensued followed a closure order of the bowling alley after health officials reported "flagrant violations, including staff and customers not wearing face masks," a requirement… Continue reading Owner of Rapiest, Trashiest Bowling Alley in Lincoln Turns Out to Maybe Not Be the Best Dude
Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse gave a graduation commencement speech on Saturday, confirming that even our elected officials are drunk, unhinged, and frankly not interesting at all anymore due to the stress of Covid-19. In eight painful minutes, the Senator thanked China for parent teachers, deemed high school education as unnecessary, and… Continue reading Yeah so Ben Sasse Is Doin’ Okay
Lincoln NE (SN) - With five more COVID-19 cases confirmed in Lancaster county this afternoon, and even Nebraska's pro-death Governor urging for early testing, one fact remains true: You don't have to wear a mask, you pussy. You're being a baby. You're blowing this out of proportion. It is a liberal hoax. Retired mechanic Kirby… Continue reading More People Die Every Year From Your Mom, You Troll Dickweed
Lincoln NE (SN) - Local businesses are doing what they can do to turn a profit during the Coronavirus shutdown. O’Rourke’s Tavern is no different as they are now offering curbside pick-up of their stale-ass popcorn. “If you want a bag of this old popcorn just give us a call,” said bartender Tad Sparkman. “We… Continue reading O’Rourke’s Stale Ass Popcorn Available for Carry Out or Delivery
Lincoln NE (SN) - COVID-19 is spreading quickly in the United States, and with those older than 60 at the highest risk, Nebraskan Millenials are daring to ask the question everyone is thinking but doesn't have the guts to ask: Maybe that isn't such a bad thing? "I mean Hillary wouldn't have been the nominee… Continue reading Nebraska Millenials Hopeful Enough Old People Die From Coronavirus so Nebraska Can Move Into the 21st Century
Lincoln NE (SN) - Reports started to pour in Friday morning that the sink in the men's room at Duffy's Tavern started to function as normally intended. The sink, located on 1412 O Street, had apparently never been turned to the "on" position until that moment, leaving bar staff and patrons baffled. "I didn't even… Continue reading Men’s Room Sink at Duffy’s Tavern Used for the First Time
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