sports n snorts, the paranormal

2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch

Lincoln NE (SN) - The 300 year old witch who lives under Memorial Stadium has confessed to putting a curse on the Husker football team. At a press conference held near the woolly mammoth statue in front of Morrill Hall, Cornelva made her wicked plot known. “The Nebraska Cornhuskers will indeed fall prey to hype… Continue reading 2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch

sports n snorts, total failure

Well… Fuck.

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Nebraska Cornhuskers lost to the Purdue Boilermakers 42-28 on Saturday, the 7th straight loss at home. After an early 7-0 lead, Nebraska surrendered 27 unanswered points to eventually fall to the Boilermakers who are now 2-3. Nebraska is now winless on the year, with games against powerhouses Wisconsin, Ohio State,… Continue reading Well… Fuck.

GBR, sports n snorts

Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship

Lincoln NE (SN) - A buzz is in the air around Lincoln Nebraska, as Cornhusker fans prepare once and for all for the first undefeated season and National Championship since 1997. “Can’t wait. Scott Frost. Number one!” shouted superfan Kevin Lynch. “Wooooooooo!” “I just can’t wait to be there in Santa Clara for the National… Continue reading Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship

sports n snorts

Nebraska Football Adds Bethune-Cookman to the Schedule, Nebraska Can Now Win at Least One Game

Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Athletic Director Bill Moos has announced that Nebraska will play FCS Bethune-Cookman on October 27th, in a last ditch effort to win a game this season. “At this point it’s our only chance for a win,” says Moos. “Have you seen our team lately? Sure we have had some bad… Continue reading Nebraska Football Adds Bethune-Cookman to the Schedule, Nebraska Can Now Win at Least One Game

Slow Nuesday, sports n snorts

16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff

Lincoln NE (SN) - As thousands of Nebraska college football fans are still taking their anger towards mother nature to social media after lightning and thunderstorms cancelled Saturday's season opener against Akron, sixteen Husker fans still stand in their assigned seats. "We will not give up on our team this year. Not with Scott Frost… Continue reading 16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff

crime, huskers, sports n snorts

Scott Frost Home Burglar Discovered to Be Former Husker Coach Mike Riley

Lincoln NE (SN) - A Husker head coach grand theft, starting with claims of 14 stolen championship rings, later downgraded to a missing gaming console, and later downgraded to some missing Air Jordan shoes, took an even more interesting turn when the culprit was captured by LPD early Tuesday morning. Former Husker coach Mike Riley… Continue reading Scott Frost Home Burglar Discovered to Be Former Husker Coach Mike Riley

homophobia, sports n snorts

Bill Moos ‘Fairly Certain’ It Wasn’t Ron Brown Stuffing Libraries with Anti-Semitic Literature

Lincoln NE (SN) - Over the weekend Lincoln's fanciest bird houses, the Little Free Libraries, became targets by an individual hell bent on spreading messages of hatred across the Capital city when it was discovered that Nazi propaganda had been stuffed inside the free book exchanges. As of this writing the Lincoln Police Department are… Continue reading Bill Moos ‘Fairly Certain’ It Wasn’t Ron Brown Stuffing Libraries with Anti-Semitic Literature