TLDRsdays, white people

Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

Lincoln NE (SN) - The first signs of spring have sprung, and Lincolnites everywhere rejoice that they can finally stop complaining about everything. “It’s been a long, hard winter for sure,” says fed up Lincoln resident Barry Tatum. “I sure am worn out, but they should have got those snowplows out sooner during that big… Continue reading Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

nebraska strong, thoughts & prayers

Ricketts Decrees April 7th as Statewide Day of Prayer, God: “Thank U, Next.”

Lincoln NE (SN) - Due to the unprecedented flooding and destruction the state has endured over the last month, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts has declared April 7th as a Statewide Day of Prayer. Ricketts, eschewing the constraints of the separation of church and state and channeling his inner Charlemagne, issued the phony baloney proclamation on… Continue reading Ricketts Decrees April 7th as Statewide Day of Prayer, God: “Thank U, Next.”

politics, potholes

Cyndi Lamm Begins Work on the South Lincoln Beltway

Lincoln NE (SN) - In an effort to prove she is the right pick to be Lincoln’s next mayor, Cyndi Lamm began work on the much anticipated South Lincoln Beltway. “Lincoln has dragged it’s feet on this project for too long. It’s time someone actually did something about it and that someone is me.” Lamm,… Continue reading Cyndi Lamm Begins Work on the South Lincoln Beltway

announcement, cold brews

Smell Nebraska Is Now Sponsored by Boiler Brewing Company

Being the hardest hitting journalists in Nebraska is hard work, and hard work makes you thirsty. Blowing the lid off of shocking stories has increased our drinking habit too, fortunately for us the Boiler Brewing Company offered us a solution to both. Owner and Grand Manse proprietor Monte Froehlich's relationship with Smell Nebraska is none other than… Continue reading Smell Nebraska Is Now Sponsored by Boiler Brewing Company

lincoln is a music city, mansplaining

Lincoln Heavy Metal Community Ready to “Give Men a Platform to Speak for Once”

Lincoln NE (SN) - The city of Lincoln's diverse local music scene is continuing to make positive aims towards the right side of history as representatives from the metal community made promises over the weekend to give white men the ability to voice their opinions for once. "It's harsh enough that there are usually never… Continue reading Lincoln Heavy Metal Community Ready to “Give Men a Platform to Speak for Once”

alcoholism, white people

Alcoholics Excited For St. Patrick’s Day So They Can Be “Just Like Everyone Else”

St. Patrick's Day is this Sunday, and amidst the green beers, leprechaun costumes, and other shenanigans, the holiday carries another tradition: allowing alcoholics everywhere to "blend in" with their community, for one night only. “For me, St. Patrick’s Day is just like Christmas,” says longtime alcoholic Jerry Reynolds. “I come to sometime in the mid… Continue reading Alcoholics Excited For St. Patrick’s Day So They Can Be “Just Like Everyone Else”

crime, hot wings

Watering Hole Moving Fourth Location from Haymarket to Lancaster County Jail

Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln inmates are in for a treat as the Watering Hole will be moving their fourth location to the Lancaster County Department of Corrections, located on 3801 West O Street. "This part of the cell block hasn't normally had any options in terms of casual fine dining," smiled Alfonzo Patterson, prisoner… Continue reading Watering Hole Moving Fourth Location from Haymarket to Lancaster County Jail