music, sweaty drunk people, zoos

“Zoo-Fest” and “Brews at the Zoo” Compete to Host Most Miserably Sweaty, Drunk, Weekend Event with the Word “Zoo” in It

Lincoln NE (SN) - Humidity is at a constant 88% in the star city. Leaving a majority committed to staying indoors until September, but when the legendary Zoo Bar hosts their annual "Zoo-Fest" at the exact same weekend as the Lincoln Children's Zoo's 21+ "Brew at the Zoo" rager, Lincolnites are forced to ask the… Continue reading “Zoo-Fest” and “Brews at the Zoo” Compete to Host Most Miserably Sweaty, Drunk, Weekend Event with the Word “Zoo” in It

condiments, fashion, shame

Grown Man Wears Sriracha Sauce Label T-shirt Out In Public

Grand Island NE (SN) - In a move bewildering to all who witnessed it, a grown man was seen wearing a bright red Sriracha sauce label t-shirt out in public. It was a rare sighting of a t-shirt design that was thought to have been extinct. The t-shirt, which should only have been used as… Continue reading Grown Man Wears Sriracha Sauce Label T-shirt Out In Public

America, patriotism, Technology

Patriotic Nebraskans Celebrate America by Videotaping Fireworks in the Dark

Lincoln NE (SN) - July 4th marks the middle of summer, and Nebraskans are poised to celebrate America with cookouts, beers, and videotaping fireworks in the dark. Lancaster county comptroller Gary Robards predicts this year to be the biggest year yet for taking dark, blurry, videos of fireworks. Says Robards, “We are really excited. There… Continue reading Patriotic Nebraskans Celebrate America by Videotaping Fireworks in the Dark

music, Technology

Dream Pro Recording to Compete with MacBook Pro, Garageband, Offering Mid-Session Memes, Porn

Lincoln NE (SN) - In an age of "skies the limit" technology battling head-to-head with "Hey listen to this song on this miniature, mono, speaker on a telephone" social norms, music studios have been forced to adapt. We spoke with Dream Pro Recording's Sean Joyce about their new sessions. "For some time, I have offered… Continue reading Dream Pro Recording to Compete with MacBook Pro, Garageband, Offering Mid-Session Memes, Porn

failed businesses, nostalgia, shopping

38 Year Old Toys ‘R’ Us Kids Finally Forced to Grow Up

Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln's Toys 'R' Us is closing their doors for good this Friday, leaving many adults reflecting and mourning what is being called "the death of the toy store." The store, located at 5220 N. 27th St, is among most remaining stores across the nation to close it's doors after Toys 'R' Us… Continue reading 38 Year Old Toys ‘R’ Us Kids Finally Forced to Grow Up

patriotism, public safety, TLDRsdays

So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks

By the time you are sitting on your toilet reading this, it is likely 3:15pm. I know you were up all night drinking vodka Monster energy drink cocktails. I hope you slept well. Your six hour shift at Wendy's starts at 4pm, so take your time. Enjoy this BM. Shit until your legs are numb.… Continue reading So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks

social media, Technology

Instagram’s IGTV Cancelled Just Days Into Season 1

New York NY (SN) - Things have been tense at Instagram's NYC headquarters after the beloved launch of IGTV was abruptly cancelled just a week into season 1. The Instagram app update, Version 51.0, allowed users to post 1-hour video uploads, advertising the change for "everyone to be a creator, not just big-name celebrities." This… Continue reading Instagram’s IGTV Cancelled Just Days Into Season 1