Hot Dogs In Tortillas, white people

Downtown Lincoln Amigos to Serve It’s Last Microwaved Hot Lettuce Soft Taco

Lincoln NE (SN) - The downtown Lincoln Amigos location, known for its cool hangs and the spiciest authentic Mexican ranch dressing nachos, will be closing later this month. Growth Management Corp, owner of the 14th and Q location, announced the 37 year old downtown staple would be closing on December 13th. "I was ordering real… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Amigos to Serve It’s Last Microwaved Hot Lettuce Soft Taco

TLDRsdays, white people

Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

Lincoln NE (SN) - The first signs of spring have sprung, and Lincolnites everywhere rejoice that they can finally stop complaining about everything. “It’s been a long, hard winter for sure,” says fed up Lincoln resident Barry Tatum. “I sure am worn out, but they should have got those snowplows out sooner during that big… Continue reading Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

alcoholism, white people

Alcoholics Excited For St. Patrick’s Day So They Can Be “Just Like Everyone Else”

St. Patrick's Day is this Sunday, and amidst the green beers, leprechaun costumes, and other shenanigans, the holiday carries another tradition: allowing alcoholics everywhere to "blend in" with their community, for one night only. “For me, St. Patrick’s Day is just like Christmas,” says longtime alcoholic Jerry Reynolds. “I come to sometime in the mid… Continue reading Alcoholics Excited For St. Patrick’s Day So They Can Be “Just Like Everyone Else”

fashion, white people

A Smell Nebraska Special Report: America in Crisis

Omaha NE (SN)- The United States is grappling with one of the worst crises in the history of our nation. It is a crisis that permeates all levels of society. It is a crisis that seemingly can’t be stopped. It is the onesie party epidemic that is now a fixture in every town, city, and… Continue reading A Smell Nebraska Special Report: America in Crisis

video games, white people

Mortal Kombat 11 to Feature Unlockable Smirking Kid in MAGA Hat Character

Chicago IL (SN) - The developers of the hit fighting series "Mortal Kombat" are no strangers to controversy, and with the eleventh installment of the series hitting stores in April, NetherRealm Studios have unveiled the first of many surprise "unlockable" characters hidden throughout the game. "Yeah that smirking little shit that taunted that Native American… Continue reading Mortal Kombat 11 to Feature Unlockable Smirking Kid in MAGA Hat Character

patriotism, white people

Fremont Couple Disgraces the Troops by Videotaping Children “Respectfully” Standing During Anthem

Fremont NE (SN) - A patriotic idea turned negative Sunday evening as a Fremont family was shamed over social media for playing with their cellular phones during the National Anthem. The couple, Shane and Dana Walton of Fremont, wanted to prove how American their household was, attempting to take video of their children standing at… Continue reading Fremont Couple Disgraces the Troops by Videotaping Children “Respectfully” Standing During Anthem

From the editor, white people

Nebraska Changes Tourism Slogan: “Our Football Team Doesn’t Win and Our Governor Looks Like A Human Cock”

Voyaging as far away from either ocean as you can in the United States of America, you may stumble across Nebraska. We are a simple and proud bunch, after all, we live THE GOOD LIFE. We may be as bland as the white mom one-note chili cooked by one-note white Midwestern moms, but our non-spiced… Continue reading Nebraska Changes Tourism Slogan: “Our Football Team Doesn’t Win and Our Governor Looks Like A Human Cock”