From the editor, TLDRsdays

Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Fall 2018 Internships

Being the most exclusive news source in Nebraska is a lot of work for one lone high school kid. Smell Nebraska is looking for smug, opinionated, unreliable, and difficult to work with candidates for our Fall 2018 internship program. Our positions range from taking photos of the miserable losers getting drunk at 2pm on a… Continue reading Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Fall 2018 Internships

college life, sports n snorts, TLDRsdays

UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy

Lincoln NE (SN) - Following recent controversy over the longtime tradition of releasing balloons at the first Husker touchdown on game days, concerned students can come to the Union on Thursday to grab a free “Trash Will Never Win” shirt and voice their opinions on the celebrations lasting environmental impacts. “The shirts (provided by the University)… Continue reading UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy

Smellthy Living, TLDRsdays

Lancaster County Restaurant Inspections, 8/2/2018

Smell Nebraska's interns have issued unenforceable food enforcement warnings to: Andy's Express Convenience Store, 2500 Wildcat Drive. Cashier found chatting loudly on flip phone to someone about Stranger Things season 1 as if it hasn't been out for two years, slot to insert "chip" card reader taped over with note saying "no chip" in three year… Continue reading Lancaster County Restaurant Inspections, 8/2/2018

food & dining, TLDRsdays

Food Review: South Pointe Food Court

This week my quest for the ultimate shopping mall food court led me to the South Pointe Mall Food Court at 3000 Pine Lake Rd. Parking was, well, shopping mall parking lot parking. I parked next to a Ford F-150 that was taking up three and a half spots. I tried not to let it… Continue reading Food Review: South Pointe Food Court

patriotism, public safety, TLDRsdays

So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks

By the time you are sitting on your toilet reading this, it is likely 3:15pm. I know you were up all night drinking vodka Monster energy drink cocktails. I hope you slept well. Your six hour shift at Wendy's starts at 4pm, so take your time. Enjoy this BM. Shit until your legs are numb.… Continue reading So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks

Immigration, politics, TLDRsdays

Stranger Things Star to Join Cast of Paid Child Actors in Libtard Immigrant Children Hoax Videos

Nogales AZ (SN) - President Donald Trump's further tightening of the United States border has continued to infuriate liberals, who are now funneling billions of dollars that they had hidden away somewhere to stage elaborate video "evidence" of immigrant children being held by U.S. Customs in tent cities and jail cells, far away from their… Continue reading Stranger Things Star to Join Cast of Paid Child Actors in Libtard Immigrant Children Hoax Videos

Smell Nebraska is Broke, TLDRsdays

Smell Nebraska Wants in on This “Give to Lincoln Day” Money

Lincoln NE (SN) - Today marks the seventh annual Give to Lincoln Day, and Smell Nebraska wants to know, where the cash at? Being the most exclusive news source in the Midwest costs a waterfall of Mountain Dew, our writers push the limits of advanced DSL internet technology to conduct extensive research on Wikipedia, and… Continue reading Smell Nebraska Wants in on This “Give to Lincoln Day” Money