With the cancellation of college football games for 2020, the Nebraska Football team has secured their first undefeated season since 1997. “This is a win-win for our program,” says head coach Scott Frost. “Not only do we get to go undefeated, but we don’t have to get blown out 48-7 by Ohio State or get… Continue reading Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997
The Ricketts family, owners of TD Ameritrade and one of two Chicago based major league baseball clubs, made the announcement that they would be selling the Chicago Cubs to further invest their stake in American politics. Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts explained the decision: "After our tepid start to the season our family feels it's time… Continue reading Ricketts Family to Sell Chicago Cubs Franchise
Omaha NE (SN) - Expecting a huge turnout for the College World Series, The Old Mattress Factory has set up a cover charge at the Omaha Airport for every person attending the College World Series. “New Cover Policy: If you are attending the College World series there is a $20 cover to enter Omaha.” says… Continue reading The Old Mattress Factory Charges a $20 Cover at the Eppley Airfield Gate
Lincoln NE (SN) - The 300 year old witch who lives under Memorial Stadium has confessed to putting a curse on the Husker football team. At a press conference held near the woolly mammoth statue in front of Morrill Hall, Cornelva made her wicked plot known. “The Nebraska Cornhuskers will indeed fall prey to hype… Continue reading 2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch
Lincoln NE (SN) - The Nebraska Cornhuskers lost to the Purdue Boilermakers 42-28 on Saturday, the 7th straight loss at home. After an early 7-0 lead, Nebraska surrendered 27 unanswered points to eventually fall to the Boilermakers who are now 2-3. Nebraska is now winless on the year, with games against powerhouses Wisconsin, Ohio State,… Continue reading Well… Fuck.
Lincoln NE (SN) - A buzz is in the air around Lincoln Nebraska, as Cornhusker fans prepare once and for all for the first undefeated season and National Championship since 1997. “Can’t wait. Scott Frost. Number one!” shouted superfan Kevin Lynch. “Wooooooooo!” “I just can’t wait to be there in Santa Clara for the National… Continue reading Nebraska Cornhusker Fans Excited for Undefeated Season, National Championship
Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Athletic Director Bill Moos has announced that Nebraska will play FCS Bethune-Cookman on October 27th, in a last ditch effort to win a game this season. “At this point it’s our only chance for a win,” says Moos. “Have you seen our team lately? Sure we have had some bad… Continue reading Nebraska Football Adds Bethune-Cookman to the Schedule, Nebraska Can Now Win at Least One Game
Lincoln NE (SN) - Following recent controversy over the longtime tradition of releasing balloons at the first Husker touchdown on game days, concerned students can come to the Union on Thursday to grab a free “Trash Will Never Win” shirt and voice their opinions on the celebrations lasting environmental impacts. “The shirts (provided by the University)… Continue reading UNL to Distribute Shirts to Address Balloon Release Controversy
Lincoln NE (SN) - As thousands of Nebraska college football fans are still taking their anger towards mother nature to social media after lightning and thunderstorms cancelled Saturday's season opener against Akron, sixteen Husker fans still stand in their assigned seats. "We will not give up on our team this year. Not with Scott Frost… Continue reading 16 Memorial Stadium Attendees Still Holding out for Husker/Akron Kickoff
Lincoln NE (SN) - With the first game of the Nebraska Cornhusker football season just a week away, Lincoln bartenders are gearing up to make a lot of money while hating every customer they serve. “I love football season,” says Longwell’s bartender Matt Paxton. “I can make enough money to pay all my rent and… Continue reading Lincoln Bartenders Excited For Husker Season to Make Money, Hate Everyone
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