From the editor, politics

Facebook Friends “Delighted” to Read Your Pompous Mansplaining About Democratic Presidential Candidates

No one knows more about the highest political office, held entirely by grumpy straight males, than grumpy straight males like you. You're a political junkie, and the 2020 race has officially started. Time to whip your dick out and start measuring it publicly. How else are your followers going know that Bernie Sanders just isn't… Continue reading Facebook Friends “Delighted” to Read Your Pompous Mansplaining About Democratic Presidential Candidates

politics, true love

Smitten Legislative Page Hoping He Gets Called on to Help Sen. Anna Wishart

Lincoln NE (SN) - Seated on a bench at the front of the Nebraska Legislature, 20 year-old legislative page Craig Thompson nervously awaits his next assignment, praying and hoping it’s to help second year representative Anna Wishart. “Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,” the googly-eyed Thompson whispered to himself. “I’m up… Continue reading Smitten Legislative Page Hoping He Gets Called on to Help Sen. Anna Wishart

dancing elected officials, politics

Photo Surfaces of High School Junior Deb Fischer Sitting Alone at Prom, Never Asked to Dance by Anyone

Lincoln NE (SN) - With the controversy surrounding young, dancing, elected officials at it's peak in US history, newly discovered photo evidence is now bringing United States Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE) to the limelight. The image from a high school prom, leaked by an anonymous former classmate, shows the [then] 16 year old Senator in… Continue reading Photo Surfaces of High School Junior Deb Fischer Sitting Alone at Prom, Never Asked to Dance by Anyone

food safety, politics

CDC Romaine Lettuce Warning Revealed as Ploy to Keep Vegan Socialist Granddaughter from Family Thanksgiving

Atlanta GA (SN) - Less than 24 hours after the Center of Disease Control and Prevention announced a multi-state outbreak of E. coli producing romaine lettuce, scientists have discovered that the only real sickness was some politically induced family drama. "I'll tell you what makes me sick at the dinner table" said disgruntled CDC investigator… Continue reading CDC Romaine Lettuce Warning Revealed as Ploy to Keep Vegan Socialist Granddaughter from Family Thanksgiving

cold brews, politics

Lame Duck Mayor Beutler All out of Fucks to Give

Lincoln NE (SN) - On election day, 53% of the city voted in favor of the amendment meticulously crafted by his opponents to keep mayor Chris Beutler from running for his forth term, and the 51st Mayor of Lincoln has reportedly checked out mentally. "The economy is doing great, Lincoln is growing, and thriving as… Continue reading Lame Duck Mayor Beutler All out of Fucks to Give

politics, sniff out the vote

7000 Nebraskans Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

Lincoln NE (SN) - It is election day in Nebraska, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in Nebraska forever. "I've got my cutest outfit on, and… Continue reading 7000 Nebraskans Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

politics, sniff out the vote

Deb Fischer Mistakenly Believes They Call Her “Blunt” in Washington

Lincoln NE (SN) - In a campaign ad, Senator Deb Fischer proudly proclaims that they call her “blunt” in Washington. A quick survey of her colleagues shows that is not exactly true. “I don’t know about ‘blunt,’ says Senate Minority Leader Chuck Shumer (D-NY). “We call her something very close to that, but not ‘blunt.’… Continue reading Deb Fischer Mistakenly Believes They Call Her “Blunt” in Washington