Lincoln NE (SN) - The passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dealt a blow to the United States Friday evening, hoisting Ginsburg's powerhouse career into conversations all over the country. "She is finally dead, huh?" Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse told Smell Nebraska reporters. "Phew! I was beginning to think she was going to… Continue reading Republican Ben Sasse Honors Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Flies Tiny Dick at Half Mast
Lincoln NE (SN) - Jacob Campbell sure is running for Lincoln’s south-central District 29. We're not really sure who he is, but South Lincoln residents are well aware that he is indeed running. "I wanted to prove to the people of South Lincoln that I have absolutely no environmental record," Campbell said. "So on day… Continue reading Jacob Campbell for Legislature Really Wants You To Know Jacob Campbell is Running for Legislature
Lincoln NE (SN) - In a planet virtually shut down to prevent the rapid spread of the Caronavirus, every single human sits in uncertainty. Except Marcus Mason, who is absolutely confident that everything will be a-okay, because Elizabeth Warren, who dropped out of the Presidential race on March 5th, will be THE winner of the… Continue reading “Check Your Privilege” Guy Blocks His Last Remaining Facebook Friend
Omaha NE (SN) - With the 2020 Iowa Caucuses less than three weeks away, Iowa Dems are scrambling to settle on their pick for Democratic Presidential Candidate, yet it seems the real action this week is taking place in neighboring Nebraska, where whiny white males are taking their POTUS commitments to social media, and calling… Continue reading Nebraska Bernie Bros & Warren Weenies Talk Shit on Social Media
Kyoto Japan (SN) - With her dreams of becoming mayor of Lincoln, Nebraska completely smashed to pieces Tuesday night, former one-term city councilwoman Cyndi Lamm must return to her lifelong career of being an evil boxer in a Nintendo game. "We allowed Lamm to take a sabbatical from our game to pursue her dreams of… Continue reading Mayoral Runner-Up Returning to Job as Villain in Nintendo Boxing Game
Lincoln NE (SN) - It is election day in Lincoln, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in the star city forever. "I've got my cutest outfit… Continue reading 2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You
Lincoln NE (SN) - In an effort to prove she is the right pick to be Lincoln’s next mayor, Cyndi Lamm began work on the much anticipated South Lincoln Beltway. “Lincoln has dragged it’s feet on this project for too long. It’s time someone actually did something about it and that someone is me.” Lamm,… Continue reading Cyndi Lamm Begins Work on the South Lincoln Beltway
No one knows more about the highest political office, held entirely by grumpy straight males, than grumpy straight males like you. You're a political junkie, and the 2020 race has officially started. Time to whip your dick out and start measuring it publicly. How else are your followers going know that Bernie Sanders just isn't… Continue reading Facebook Friends “Delighted” to Read Your Pompous Mansplaining About Democratic Presidential Candidates
Lincoln NE (SN) - Seated on a bench at the front of the Nebraska Legislature, 20 year-old legislative page Craig Thompson nervously awaits his next assignment, praying and hoping it’s to help second year representative Anna Wishart. “Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,” the googly-eyed Thompson whispered to himself. “I’m up… Continue reading Smitten Legislative Page Hoping He Gets Called on to Help Sen. Anna Wishart
Lincoln NE (SN) - With the controversy surrounding young, dancing, elected officials at it's peak in US history, newly discovered photo evidence is now bringing United States Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE) to the limelight. The image from a high school prom, leaked by an anonymous former classmate, shows the [then] 16 year old Senator in… Continue reading Photo Surfaces of High School Junior Deb Fischer Sitting Alone at Prom, Never Asked to Dance by Anyone
SmellNebraska.org 