Lincoln NE (SN) - In other weather related news, Tuesday's historic low temperatures are resulting in free money from Runza, holding true to their "Temperature Tuesday" tradition. Smell Nebraska sat down with manager Chip Welsch outside of his house as he failed to start his car Tuesday morning. "Runza's traditions run deep, and if we… Continue reading Runza Reportedly Handing $46 Cash to Customers on Tuesday
So like, yeah… a Smell Nebraska article. I don’t know man, I’m just, I’m just not feeling it right now. I mean it’s funny and stuff sometimes. I don’t understand it all the time, but it’s cool. I don’t know. Fuck it. They’re doing their thing, I’m doing my thing. We are all just people.… Continue reading Smell Nebraska Was Going to Write an Article Today, But, Fuck It
Classically trained Shakespearean actor Samuel Donovan tried something new on Thursday. He spent the lunch hour perfectly reciting all 5 acts of Hamlet in the food court of the Student Union. Sadly, no one even seemed to notice. A professional actor for 35 years, Donovan has graced some of the world’s greatest stages. He is… Continue reading Shakespearean Actor Perfectly Recites Hamlet in the UNL Student Union, No One Even Notices
Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln residents are scrambling to throw away as much cardboard as possible while they still can. As of April 1, clean and dry corrugated cardboard will no longer be accepted at the city landfill, and Lincolnites are not happy with the environmentally friendly change in policy. "This is an absolute outrage,"… Continue reading Lincolnites Panic As Landfill Cardboard Ban Approaches
Columbus NE (SN) - 37-year-old landscaper and basic training dropout Davey Johnson accomplished the impossible Tuesday night, convincing a tight knit group of regional Facebook friends to reverse their opposition of President Donald J. Trump and the Republican party with a perfect storm of comments and YouTube links. "I had just gotten done dropping my… Continue reading Right Wing Whack-job Achieves the Impossible, Gets Entire Anti-Trump Facebook Thread to Switch Parties
What started out as a fun night out with friends turned tragic Monday night, when local man Bryce Cartwright realized the pointlessness of his existence in the middle of drinking a Duffy’s fishbowl. Cartwright and a group of friends got together to celebrate their rare Monday evening off of work. Cartwright’s best friend, Daniel Morton,… Continue reading Local Man Struck by Existential Angst Mid Duffy’s Fishbowl
Lincoln NE (SN) - The Holy Ghost shocked the entire world last Saturday by surprising Lincoln concert-goers to an amazing musical performance at Pinnacle Bank Arena. Lord, preceded on stage by Mitski and Run the Jewels, commanded the stage at PBA. The Savior spent the ninety minute set promoting love, forgiveness, and the 2017 LP… Continue reading Lord Pulls Easter Resurrection 8 Days Early, Performs Pinnacle Bank Arena
Lincoln NE (SN) - Runza Restaurants may have figured out the secret to perpetual energy. The local Lincoln German/American fast food chain, who’s signature sandwich boasts a robust mixture of cabbage, onions, and seasoned ground beef, may have cracked the code to complete sustainability. Runza Restaurants of America hired a team of consultants to analyze… Continue reading Runza To Go Green, Function Entirely Off Of Farts From People That Ate Runza
Lincoln NE (SN) - We have all been there. You are getting really into deviled eggs lately but just don't know how to keep them all organized. What you need is a deviled egg holder, but in these tough times, who can afford such luxuries? If you are thrifty, you can find everything you need… Continue reading In-Line, Pass, PPU, Go Fuck Yourself: The Ins and Outs of LinConsign
La Vista NE (SN) - It seems metal's "Prince of Darkness" was not given the royal treatment this last Sunday after getting kicked out of the Alamo Drafthouse and later banned from the greater Omaha area for life for urinating outside of the hip theatre chain. "Sharon had gone to tell us to watch a bloody… Continue reading Ozzy Osbourne Banned From Omaha for Pissing on the Alamo Drafthouse
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