covid-19, huskers, sports n snorts

Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997

With the cancellation of college football games for 2020, the Nebraska Football team has secured their first undefeated season since 1997. “This is a win-win for our program,” says head coach Scott Frost. “Not only do we get to go undefeated, but we don’t have to get blown out 48-7 by Ohio State or get… Continue reading Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997

covid-19, education, U.S. History

Yeah so Ben Sasse Is Doin’ Okay

Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse gave a graduation commencement speech on Saturday, confirming that even our elected officials are drunk, unhinged, and frankly not interesting at all anymore due to the stress of Covid-19. In eight painful minutes, the Senator thanked China for parent teachers, deemed high school education as unnecessary, and… Continue reading Yeah so Ben Sasse Is Doin’ Okay

caronavirus, covid-19, ok boomer

More People Die Every Year From Your Mom, You Troll Dickweed

Lincoln NE (SN) - With five more COVID-19 cases confirmed in Lancaster county this afternoon, and even Nebraska's pro-death Governor urging for early testing, one fact remains true: You don't have to wear a mask, you pussy. You're being a baby. You're blowing this out of proportion. It is a liberal hoax. Retired mechanic Kirby… Continue reading More People Die Every Year From Your Mom, You Troll Dickweed

caronavirus, covid-19, downtown lincoln

O’Rourke’s Stale Ass Popcorn Available for Carry Out or Delivery

Lincoln NE (SN) - Local businesses are doing what they can do to turn a profit during the Coronavirus shutdown. O’Rourke’s Tavern is no different as they are now offering curbside pick-up of their stale-ass popcorn. “If you want a bag of this old popcorn just give us a call,” said bartender Tad Sparkman. “We… Continue reading O’Rourke’s Stale Ass Popcorn Available for Carry Out or Delivery

covid-19, white people

Smell Nebraska to Host “Grey’s Anatomy Marathon Lock-In”

Lincoln NE (SN) - Smell Nebraska is adored by thousands of incredible human beings, and amidst the chaos that is COVID-19, we are dedicated to doing our part to pay it forward to every one of you. Are you a fan of Grey's Anatomy? If you are, stop. what. you. are. doing. Today is your… Continue reading Smell Nebraska to Host “Grey’s Anatomy Marathon Lock-In”