obituaries

In Remembrance: Lincoln Shopko Department Stores

Every Lincoln Shopko location, peacefully died January 16th, 2019. Shopko is survived by children: Target, Walmart, and mall kiosks. Shopko was proceeded in death by siblings: Pamida, Alco, and Circuit City. Shopko will be remembered for their deep passion for scented candles, travel sized shampoos, and giving eye exams to the wonderful people of Lincoln.… Continue reading In Remembrance: Lincoln Shopko Department Stores

huge creeps, music

Clueless Nebraskan Males Thought Their City Had a Shot with Ariana Grande Concert

Omaha NE (SN) - Hearts are broken in the city of Omaha as pop star Ariana Grande canceled her scheduled April concert, performing instead at the smarter, more popular, and more attractive Coachella Festival. "The CHI Health Center in Omaha looks like a really nice venue. I'll always be friends with Omaha, but I think… Continue reading Clueless Nebraskan Males Thought Their City Had a Shot with Ariana Grande Concert

patriotism, white people

Fremont Couple Disgraces the Troops by Videotaping Children “Respectfully” Standing During Anthem

Fremont NE (SN) - A patriotic idea turned negative Sunday evening as a Fremont family was shamed over social media for playing with their cellular phones during the National Anthem. The couple, Shane and Dana Walton of Fremont, wanted to prove how American their household was, attempting to take video of their children standing at… Continue reading Fremont Couple Disgraces the Troops by Videotaping Children “Respectfully” Standing During Anthem

dancing elected officials, politics

Photo Surfaces of High School Junior Deb Fischer Sitting Alone at Prom, Never Asked to Dance by Anyone

Lincoln NE (SN) - With the controversy surrounding young, dancing, elected officials at it's peak in US history, newly discovered photo evidence is now bringing United States Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE) to the limelight. The image from a high school prom, leaked by an anonymous former classmate, shows the [then] 16 year old Senator in… Continue reading Photo Surfaces of High School Junior Deb Fischer Sitting Alone at Prom, Never Asked to Dance by Anyone

SMELL NEBRASKA WILL NEVER DIE

Lincoln Woman Still Adding 400+ Videos to “2018 Year in Review” Instagram Story

Lincoln NE (SN) - It was a shitty year for most, (minus the hardest hitting real news source on the web,) but 2018 was reportedly hardest on 27 year old Rebekah Sharples. "The year was looking promising until March, when Steven Hawking and the guy who played "Bozo the Clown" were both taken from us,"… Continue reading Lincoln Woman Still Adding 400+ Videos to “2018 Year in Review” Instagram Story

A Penny For Your Snoughts, Advice Column

Ask Mr. Nose It All 12/13/2018

Life stinks? Email Mr. Nose It All today at SmellNebraska@gmail.com with the subject line HELP! We also accept Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, and Instagram DMs. Dear Mr. Nose It All- Via Instagram DM: How do you know if someone is really into you or not? -@macxaroni Dear common eighth grader: The answer is in your grasps. We… Continue reading Ask Mr. Nose It All 12/13/2018

traffic report

Lincoln Drivers Perfect Right-Hand Turn by Easing Ever So Slightly Into the Lane on Their Left

Lincoln NE (SN) - Ice hazards have almost entirely melted from the roads of Lincoln due to sightly higher temperatures, yet daily commutes are still being delayed. While some experts are blaming the increase of cars on the roads due to holiday shopping, Smell Nebraska's traffic team has reached an alternative conclusion: People from Nebraska… Continue reading Lincoln Drivers Perfect Right-Hand Turn by Easing Ever So Slightly Into the Lane on Their Left