smell the kids, weather

LPS Closes School for Rest of Winter 2018, “It Might Snow.”

Lincoln NE (SN) - Following National Weather Service meteorologists forcasts that Nebraskans may experience some winter weather conditions during the remaining winter months of 2018, Lincoln Public Schools had no choice but to close until Spring. We sat down with LPS Superintendent Dr. Steve Joel to discuss the chilling decision. "Our hands were tied." Joel… Continue reading LPS Closes School for Rest of Winter 2018, “It Might Snow.”

deck the halls, taxpayer dollars

Downtown Lincoln Association Approves Random Numbered Christmas Decorations for 2018

Lincoln NE (SN) - The Downtown Lincoln Association has approved a measure to decorate O street with random numbered Christmas decorations for the 11th year in a row. “We find these confusing illuminated numbers really fill people with holiday spirit," said spokesperson Betty Johnson. "People drive from miles around to look at the numbers and… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Association Approves Random Numbered Christmas Decorations for 2018

food safety, politics

CDC Romaine Lettuce Warning Revealed as Ploy to Keep Vegan Socialist Granddaughter from Family Thanksgiving

Atlanta GA (SN) - Less than 24 hours after the Center of Disease Control and Prevention announced a multi-state outbreak of E. coli producing romaine lettuce, scientists have discovered that the only real sickness was some politically induced family drama. "I'll tell you what makes me sick at the dinner table" said disgruntled CDC investigator… Continue reading CDC Romaine Lettuce Warning Revealed as Ploy to Keep Vegan Socialist Granddaughter from Family Thanksgiving

cold brews, politics

Lame Duck Mayor Beutler All out of Fucks to Give

Lincoln NE (SN) - On election day, 53% of the city voted in favor of the amendment meticulously crafted by his opponents to keep mayor Chris Beutler from running for his forth term, and the 51st Mayor of Lincoln has reportedly checked out mentally. "The economy is doing great, Lincoln is growing, and thriving as… Continue reading Lame Duck Mayor Beutler All out of Fucks to Give

lincoln is a music city, memes

Night Push Continues to Pump Out Lincoln’s Best Sounding Facebook Memes

Lincoln NE (SN) - In a world where a video of a baby panda sneezing gets you 300 likes on Facebook while your upcoming show at the Royal Grove gets a single like from your mom, Lincoln rock band Night Push seems to have cracked the code. "A couple years ago, I just started making… Continue reading Night Push Continues to Pump Out Lincoln’s Best Sounding Facebook Memes

downtown lincoln, food & dining

Tam O’Shanter’s Carpeted Walls Live to See Another Sad Drunk Person

Lincoln NE (SN) - Just days after the announcement of closing, a buyer has emerged from the shadows proving to the city of Lincoln that the dimly lit Tam O'Shanter bar and steakhouse will never die. "They had an auction scheduled for this upcoming Sunday and everything. Nice try!" said the buyer. "You aren't going… Continue reading Tam O’Shanter’s Carpeted Walls Live to See Another Sad Drunk Person

cold brews, downtown lincoln

Dutch Uncle Closes, Reopens with New Management as “When You Fart Under the Covers Tavern”

Lincoln NE (SN) - After two years of brews, pinball, and run-off creeps from the Night Before Lounge, the Dutch Uncle is closing it's doors for good. "It was just time" said a former bartender. "I'll never forget those Rick and Morty viewing parties though." The property, located at 317 S 11th street, was quick… Continue reading Dutch Uncle Closes, Reopens with New Management as “When You Fart Under the Covers Tavern”