covid-19, responsible business owners

Review: Sada Baby Live at the Royal Grove During the Highest Threat Level of Covid-19

Lincoln NE (SN) - Just one day after Mayor Leirion Gaylor Baird and the Lincoln-Lancaster County Health Department (LLCHD) moved the COVID-19 Risk Dial to the red, Lincoln concert venue the Royal Grove hosted a sold-out hip hop concert Saturday night, featuring super-spreader dance-offs and rapper Sada Baby. The Detroit artist, who's hometown is also… Continue reading Review: Sada Baby Live at the Royal Grove During the Highest Threat Level of Covid-19

politics, pricks

Republican Ben Sasse Honors Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Flies Tiny Dick at Half Mast

Lincoln NE (SN) - The passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dealt a blow to the United States Friday evening, hoisting Ginsburg's powerhouse career into conversations all over the country. "She is finally dead, huh?" Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse told Smell Nebraska reporters. "Phew! I was beginning to think she was going to… Continue reading Republican Ben Sasse Honors Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Flies Tiny Dick at Half Mast

covid-19, huskers, sports n snorts

Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997

With the cancellation of college football games for 2020, the Nebraska Football team has secured their first undefeated season since 1997. “This is a win-win for our program,” says head coach Scott Frost. “Not only do we get to go undefeated, but we don’t have to get blown out 48-7 by Ohio State or get… Continue reading Husker Football Secures Their First Undefeated Season Since 1997

bowlvid-19, health & public safety

Owner of Rapiest, Trashiest Bowling Alley in Lincoln Turns Out to Maybe Not Be the Best Dude

Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln Police Department and the Lincoln city health department faced a showdown over the weekend with Benjamin Madsen, owner of Madsen's Bowling and Billiards. The drama ensued followed a closure order of the bowling alley after health officials reported "flagrant violations, including staff and customers not wearing face masks," a requirement… Continue reading Owner of Rapiest, Trashiest Bowling Alley in Lincoln Turns Out to Maybe Not Be the Best Dude

covid-19, education, U.S. History

Yeah so Ben Sasse Is Doin’ Okay

Lincoln NE (SN) - Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse gave a graduation commencement speech on Saturday, confirming that even our elected officials are drunk, unhinged, and frankly not interesting at all anymore due to the stress of Covid-19. In eight painful minutes, the Senator thanked China for parent teachers, deemed high school education as unnecessary, and… Continue reading Yeah so Ben Sasse Is Doin’ Okay

politics, Sniff The Vote, yard signs

Jacob Campbell for Legislature Really Wants You To Know Jacob Campbell is Running for Legislature

Lincoln NE (SN) - Jacob Campbell sure is running for Lincoln’s south-central District 29. We're not really sure who he is, but South Lincoln residents are well aware that he is indeed running. "I wanted to prove to the people of South Lincoln that I have absolutely no environmental record," Campbell said. "So on day… Continue reading Jacob Campbell for Legislature Really Wants You To Know Jacob Campbell is Running for Legislature

caronavirus, covid-19, ok boomer

More People Die Every Year From Your Mom, You Troll Dickweed

Lincoln NE (SN) - With five more COVID-19 cases confirmed in Lancaster county this afternoon, and even Nebraska's pro-death Governor urging for early testing, one fact remains true: You don't have to wear a mask, you pussy. You're being a baby. You're blowing this out of proportion. It is a liberal hoax. Retired mechanic Kirby… Continue reading More People Die Every Year From Your Mom, You Troll Dickweed

caronavirus, covid-19, downtown lincoln

O’Rourke’s Stale Ass Popcorn Available for Carry Out or Delivery

Lincoln NE (SN) - Local businesses are doing what they can do to turn a profit during the Coronavirus shutdown. O’Rourke’s Tavern is no different as they are now offering curbside pick-up of their stale-ass popcorn. “If you want a bag of this old popcorn just give us a call,” said bartender Tad Sparkman. “We… Continue reading O’Rourke’s Stale Ass Popcorn Available for Carry Out or Delivery

covid-19, white people

Smell Nebraska to Host “Grey’s Anatomy Marathon Lock-In”

Lincoln NE (SN) - Smell Nebraska is adored by thousands of incredible human beings, and amidst the chaos that is COVID-19, we are dedicated to doing our part to pay it forward to every one of you. Are you a fan of Grey's Anatomy? If you are, stop. what. you. are. doing. Today is your… Continue reading Smell Nebraska to Host “Grey’s Anatomy Marathon Lock-In”

politics, TGIQuarantined, white people

“Check Your Privilege” Guy Blocks His Last Remaining Facebook Friend

Lincoln NE (SN) - In a planet virtually shut down to prevent the rapid spread of the Caronavirus, every single human sits in uncertainty. Except Marcus Mason, who is absolutely confident that everything will be a-okay, because Elizabeth Warren, who dropped out of the Presidential race on March 5th, will be THE winner of the… Continue reading “Check Your Privilege” Guy Blocks His Last Remaining Facebook Friend