gaming, homophobia, politics

Mayoral Runner-Up Returning to Job as Villain in Nintendo Boxing Game

Kyoto Japan (SN) - With her dreams of becoming mayor of Lincoln, Nebraska completely smashed to pieces Tuesday night, former one-term city councilwoman Cyndi Lamm must return to her lifelong career of being an evil boxer in a Nintendo game. "We allowed Lamm to take a sabbatical from our game to pursue her dreams of… Continue reading Mayoral Runner-Up Returning to Job as Villain in Nintendo Boxing Game

politics, sniff out the vote

2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

Lincoln NE (SN) - It is election day in Lincoln, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in the star city forever. "I've got my cutest outfit… Continue reading 2200 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

natural disasters, sweets 'n treats

C and L Dairy Sweet Patrons Reflect on the One Time They Almost Went There

Lincoln NE (SN) - God went all Sim City and took out a tiny square with a tornado early Sunday evening, resulting in the destruction of C and L Sweet ice cream stand, operated near Pioneers Park. Fortunately the employees escaped from the 40 year-old business just moments before the storm approached Pioneers Park. Lincolnites… Continue reading C and L Dairy Sweet Patrons Reflect on the One Time They Almost Went There

crime, douche bros

Years of Exposure to Drake Songs Drives Radio Personality to Domestic Violence

Lincoln NE (SN) - It was a rough Easter Sunday for a local radio personality, who was arrested on suspicion of strangulation early Saturday morning. Matthew Rydberg, 41, known to most Lincolnites as Matt McKay on KFRX-FM's morning show, was charged Monday morning after allegations that he had strangled his wife, and bit her in… Continue reading Years of Exposure to Drake Songs Drives Radio Personality to Domestic Violence

Sniff The Vote, stupid lazy people

235,497 Lincolnites Choose Not to Vote on Whether or Not Their Taxes Will Increase

Lincoln NE (SN) - As Lincoln's 2019 primary election comes to an end, the race of mayoral favorites and city council hopefuls culminates with obvious winners and losers. The biggest losers being the 17% that voted yes (or no) to an increase in sales tax for roads repair who now have to read complaints about… Continue reading 235,497 Lincolnites Choose Not to Vote on Whether or Not Their Taxes Will Increase

agriculture, smell the kids

Downtown Lincoln Barely Survives Annual “Future Farmers of America” Infestation

Lincoln NE (SN) - It seems Lincoln is safe for now after this year's FFA takeover, in which a bunch of dumb fuck country bumpkins paint the city of Lincoln... navy blue. The Future Farmers of America organization's Nebraska chapter brings in children from rural Nebraskan communities each year to attend workshops related to the… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Barely Survives Annual “Future Farmers of America” Infestation

From the editor, where my influencers at?

Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Spring 2019 Internships

Being the most exclusive news source in Nebraska is a lot of work for one lone high school kid. Smell Nebraska is looking for smug, opinionated, unreliable, and difficult to work with candidates for our Spring 2019 internship program. Our positions range from taking photos of the miserable losers getting drunk at 2pm on a… Continue reading Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Spring 2019 Internships