featured, food & dining, weather alerts

Runza Reportedly Handing $46 Cash to Customers on Tuesday

Lincoln NE (SN) – In other weather related news, Tuesday’s historic low temperatures are resulting in free money from Runza, holding true to their “Temperature Tuesday” tradition. Smell Nebraska sat down with manager Chip Welsch outside of his house as he failed to start his car Tuesday morning.

“Runza’s traditions run deep, and if we have to lose money to keep them going, well that is what we are going to do,” Welsch told reporters after another failed attempt to start his car in the -26° Capitol city. “Wow it is colder than the wicked witch of West 22nd and A street’s titty out here!”

So free cabbage-meat-pockets, and $46 cash? (The establishment is honoring the 6am wind chill.) Temperature Tuesday regulars were quick to comment on the morning haul.

“I am never coming to this establishment again,” said one customer. “First they made me wear a fucking mask even though they don’t work, my order took over five minutes, and to make matters worse my free $46 was all in single dollar bills. Shame on them.”

“That’s the thing about our Runza regulars,” manager Welsch shivered while approaching the bus stop by his house. “They are die hard, especially on Temperature Tuesday.”

Shortly after the interview Chip Welsch died of hypothermia at the bus stop. Smell Nebraska has created a Go Fund Me account for his family. #RIPChip #JusticeForChip

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s