Lincoln NE (SN) – The passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dealt a blow to the United States Friday evening, hoisting Ginsburg’s powerhouse career into conversations all over the country.
“She is finally dead, huh?” Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse told Smell Nebraska reporters. “Phew! I was beginning to think she was going to hold on until January, it looks like the Senate has some work to do!”
Sasse was dismissive when asked to reflect on the legacy of RBG.
“Yeah I guess she did a lot, for a girl. I don’t know. She was really kind of mean to me” he shook his head. “I mean I did call her a bitch to her face once, but it was only because she said it wasn’t fair that giant corporations were considered individuals, and could donate endless dollars to corrupt political campaigns, therefor allowing the billionaires of our country to completely cheat our political process, gah what a mean old lady, right?!”
Sasse quickly exited the interview to call his buddy, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, to see if any of his “college rapist buddies” wanted to join the running for the next SCOTUS nominee.