Hot Dogs In Tortillas, white people

Downtown Lincoln Amigos to Serve It’s Last Microwaved Hot Lettuce Soft Taco

Lincoln NE (SN) – The downtown Lincoln Amigos location, known for its cool hangs and the spiciest authentic Mexican ranch dressing nachos, will be closing later this month.

Growth Management Corp, owner of the 14th and Q location, announced the 37 year old downtown staple would be closing on December 13th.

“I was ordering real Mexican food at El Chaparro on 13th street when none other than Kim Wong sat down at the table next to me,” said Growth Management Corp employee Timothy Fletcher. “You know Kim Wong, right? He owned that Chinese restaurant that was next to that Starship what-or-another movie theater that got torn down by our Amigos. You know what I’m talking about, right?”

Smell Nebraska reporters had no fucking clue what Fletcher was referring to.

“Well that whole block got torn down, you see,” he added. “It’s the funniest thing… you know. Buildings! Anyways he told me it was wise for Growth Management Corp. to accept the free money… He even sat down at my table and shared his enchilada y taco de pollo o res with me. Damn, El Chaparro is so good, you gotta eat there.”

While Fletcher and his corporation seem to be coming out ahead, some Lincolnites are furious about the historic loss in the capitol city.

“Um… does anyone have some insight as to where I can score a Cheese Frenchee and some cumin seasoned tater tots in downtown Lincoln after next Friday?” said drunk college student Patrick McPhee. “I thought the “progressive” city of Lincoln opened their arms to ethnic influence. This is a god damn nightmare.”

The downtown Amigos location is celebrating “Fill your own personal mason jar with our buttermilk ranch week” starting today.

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