Lincoln NE (SN) - A complete fucking idiot emailed the Mayor’s office complaining that a statue of Spiderman’s hands were “demonic, perverse, anti-christian, a hate crime against the church, and way too big for Spiderman.” City ombudsman (whatever that is) Liz Quenzer had a hearty laugh at the email. “Of course it’s demonic. We have… Continue reading Complete Fucking Idiots Think Spider-Man’s Hands Are Devil Horns
Lincoln NE (SN) - Dozens of musical aspirations were crushed Saturday evening as Lincoln's Machete Archive reunited to, once again, prove that they are boundlessly and technically more talented than you at their respected instruments. The trio, who headlined a commanding line-up at Duffy's Tavern, effortlessly pumped out jam after jam of their unique blend… Continue reading Machete Archive Returns, Reminds Every Other Local Musician That They Suck Balls at Their Instrument
Lincoln NE (SN) - July 4th marks the middle of summer, and Nebraskans are poised to celebrate America with cookouts, beers, and videotaping fireworks in the dark. Lancaster county comptroller Gary Robards predicts this year to be the biggest year yet for taking dark, blurry, videos of fireworks. Says Robards, “We are really excited. There… Continue reading Patriotic Nebraskans Celebrate America by Videotaping Fireworks in the Dark
Lincoln NE (SN) - With buildings up to 147 years old in the neighborhoods spanning South street all the way to Superior, it is no surprise that parts of the region would be reserved for middle and low income housing. Jeff Heerspink, pastor of the F Street Neighborhood Church, has come forward with a solution… Continue reading Pastor Deems Every Neighborhood North of Van Dorn “Breeding Ground for Problems”
By the time you are sitting on your toilet reading this, it is likely 3:15pm. I know you were up all night drinking vodka Monster energy drink cocktails. I hope you slept well. Your six hour shift at Wendy's starts at 4pm, so take your time. Enjoy this BM. Shit until your legs are numb.… Continue reading So You’re the Asshole That Is Already Firing off Fireworks
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