Catholic Dioceses Still Unable to “Find That Dang File”

Omaha NE (SN) – Lawyers for the Lincoln and Omaha Catholic Dioceses of Nebraska continue to push back against 400 subpoenas served up by the Nebraska Attorney General regarding the investigation into 40 years of sexual abuse of minors by clergy and the systematic cover-up.

Patrick Flood, the attorney for the Archdiocese of Omaha parishes, schools, and archbishop, admits they “Just can’t find that dang file.”

“If there was ever such a file, we just can’t seem to find it,” says Flood. “The Attorney General of Nebraska has all these subpoenas and asking for this and that, just so much information. We just can’t possibly be able to find all those dang files. We were really caught by surprise that anyone would even care anymore at this point. Finding that dang file regarding over 40 years of sexual abuse of minors and the systematic cover-up is going to be tough.”

Flood continues, “I mean, what’s the point? Most of the accused are dead by now. Right? Sure their victims have suffered their entire lives due to the heinous acts inflicted upon them, and the ‘alleged’ systematic cover-up over the last 40-50 years, but you know what we say, the lord works in mysterious ways! I’m praying that dang file shows up. We want to finally get all of this out in the open and not continue to hide the atrocious acts committed by trusted members of our community upon the most innocent among us, and then systematically cover it up for over 40 years, moving pedophile priests to different diocese and not alerting any authorities to the allegations against them, and not believing the accusers at all. We really want to help out the Attorney General, if we could only find that dang file.”

In April the Lincoln Diocese did divulge a list of 9 priest with substantiated claims of abuse against them, as well as 3 others under investigation. “See,” says Flood, “We got them. There you go. 9 guys or 12 guys, whatever. What more do you want? Some of these guys are even still alive! Nothing else to see here. We will keep looking for that dang file, and of course, we will keep the victims in our thoughts and prayers.”