Lincoln NE (SN) – God went all Sim City and took out a tiny square with a tornado early Sunday evening, resulting in the destruction of C and L Sweet ice cream stand, operated near Pioneers Park.
Fortunately the employees escaped from the 40 year-old business just moments before the storm approached Pioneers Park. Lincolnites are now left mourning the loss of the beloved small business they almost went to one time.
“I have such a vivid, warm, memory of driving past that place last year,” said 38 year old Dennis Tanser. “I remember it like it was yesterday. I looked over at my wife and said, “We should go there sometime.” This is truly a tragedy.”
While it is unclear whether or not the owners will rebuild, some are reminding us that sometimes these things happen for a reason.
“I’ve had so many of those lemon slushy things over the last 40 years,” God said. “They are better than anything in the universe. I just had to get rid of them. Fuck it.”
One group not sad to see C & L go was employees of Zesto’s, who have had to deal with customers trying to buy lemon cones at the wrong place for years. “Every Tuesday like clockwork,” says disgruntled Zesto’s employees Greg Mathis. “We don’t have lemon cones. Wrong place idiot.”