Sniff The Vote, stupid lazy people

235,497 Lincolnites Choose Not to Vote on Whether or Not Their Taxes Will Increase

Lincoln NE (SN) – As Lincoln’s 2019 primary election comes to an end, the race of mayoral favorites and city council hopefuls culminates with obvious winners and losers. The biggest losers being the 17% that voted yes (or no) to an increase in sales tax for roads repair who now have to read complaints about the results from bloated dog shit people who didn’t vote.

Leirion Gaylor Baird and Cyndi Lamm raked in a combined 77% of the vote, securing the two as contenders for the race for mayor in the general elections, while a blue wave embodied all four city council races. The ballot question “I vote FOR/AGAINST authorizing the increase in city sales tax for the specified street improvement purposes” was a much tighter race, coming down to just 579 individual votes.

“This is fucking bullshit” wrote unemployed landscaper, and guy with a bald eagle as his cover photo on Facebook, Gerald Geathers. “I’ve commented in the Journal Star comment section every day for a month about what the city is doing wrong about our roads and no one ever said anything about one of those election deals. Beutler must be suppressing information from the constituents just like Hillary Clinton does.”

Other Lincolnites took the outcry to social media to proclaim the ballot made it difficult to realize there were four different things to vote for.

“Was there something about sales tax on the ballot?!? How did I miss that question??” one genius posted. “Was it on the back? Did somebody need to tell me to flip it over? Am I dumb? The candidate I voted for had the most complicated name. Wawawawait the complicated named person was a lady?”

Those who are against the proposal, or just found out about it and are against it, are opting to boycott the city of Lincoln in protest.

“This is just like that stupid arena tax” said 72 year old Brian Teston. “That fucking tax stole at least $14 from me, and for what? For Garth Brooks to rock my face off for three nights in a row? I couldn’t enjoy a second of “Ain’t Going Down” without thinking of that $14. This is all Chris Beutler’s fault.”

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