TLDRsdays, white people

Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

Lincoln NE (SN) – The first signs of spring have sprung, and Lincolnites everywhere rejoice that they can finally stop complaining about everything.

“It’s been a long, hard winter for sure,” says fed up Lincoln resident Barry Tatum. “I sure am worn out, but they should have got those snowplows out sooner during that big storm. They waited too long and by that time it was too late. They should have started plowing right when it started snowing. There weren’t enough plows. They should have had more plows out 24/7. And they didn’t put down enough salt to stop the ice from forming. I even heard they ran out at one point. What is the point of me paying taxes then?”

Concerned citizen Daniel Thomas was also fired up about the winter weather. “They took forever to plow my street and when they did, they didn’t even bother to unblock my driveway. I had to shovel it out myself. Thanks for nothing asshole! Sure I didn’t bother to move my car like I was supposed to during the parking ban, but what was I supposed to do? Go outside? It was freezing. The city just needs to do a better job. We need a task force or something.”

Even though Lincoln was completely unscathed from the most recent blizzard and epic flooding, that didn’t stop old cranky man Gerald Geathers from bitching about potholes. “It’s been 2 weeks and I’ve only seen one crew out fixing potholes! I watched one crew from my window and they weren’t even doing in correctly. What a waste of tar and tax payer money! I’ve commented in the Journal Star comment section every day for a month about what the city is doing wrong and nothing has changed. It’s like the city council doesn’t even read my comments or something! I miss the old days when a well written letter to the editor would really get those people into gear.”

Lincoln residents can breathe a bit easier now that the snow is gone, and they can relax and reminisce about the time Allo messed up their flower garden that one time.

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