politics, potholes

Cyndi Lamm Begins Work on the South Lincoln Beltway

Lincoln NE (SN) – In an effort to prove she is the right pick to be Lincoln’s next mayor, Cyndi Lamm began work on the much anticipated South Lincoln Beltway. “Lincoln has dragged it’s feet on this project for too long. It’s time someone actually did something about it and that someone is me.”

Lamm, currently a Lincoln City Councilwoman, began the 300 million dollar infrastructure project by digging a hole in a farmer’s field south of Saltillo Road. “It doesn’t look like much now, but I think I’ll have a lane or two of highway here in the next couple decades. You just need to vote for me as mayor to get it done.”

Lamm made noise when she took it upon herself to patch up some potholes herself as the city was not working fast enough. This caught the attention and disdain of current Mayor Chris Beutler. “If Cyndi wants to build eleven miles of four lane highway, so be it. Just know that it is very dangerous and I wouldn’t advise it. But just so you know, this is what happens when you vote in a term limit law and effectively vote me out of office. Did you have it too good? Too much prosperity? Not enough circus sideshows? Well, now we have Cyndi Lamm taking over the department of roads duties and some chick running for mayor living in a van. Are you not entertained? Is this what you wanted? You people deserve everything you get in this shit show election. I’m going to Cabo Wabo to get jiggy with it. Later nerds!”

Lamm was last seen being chased off the farmer’s property by an angry John Deere tractor. “Remember to vote for me April 9th!”

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