Sniff The Vote, stupid lazy people

235,497 Lincolnites Choose Not to Vote on Whether or Not Their Taxes Will Increase

Lincoln NE (SN) - As Lincoln's 2019 primary election comes to an end, the race of mayoral favorites and city council hopefuls culminates with obvious winners and losers. The biggest losers being the 17% that voted yes (or no) to an increase in sales tax for roads repair who now have to read complaints about… Continue reading 235,497 Lincolnites Choose Not to Vote on Whether or Not Their Taxes Will Increase

politics, sniff out the vote

1700 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

Lincoln NE (SN) - It is primary election day in Lincoln, and the >1% of the population that are registered voters are ecstatic, but not as floored as the >1% of THAT number that will actually be voting today. Today they will change the political climate in the star city forever. "I've got my cutest… Continue reading 1700 Lincolnites Instagram Their “I Voted” Sticker Today to Prove They Are Better Than You

agriculture, smell the kids

Downtown Lincoln Barely Survives Annual “Future Farmers of America” Infestation

Lincoln NE (SN) - It seems Lincoln is safe for now after this year's FFA takeover, in which a bunch of dumb fuck country bumpkins paint the city of Lincoln... navy blue. The Future Farmers of America organization's Nebraska chapter brings in children from rural Nebraskan communities each year to attend workshops related to the… Continue reading Downtown Lincoln Barely Survives Annual “Future Farmers of America” Infestation

From the editor, where my influencers at?

Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Spring 2019 Internships

Being the most exclusive news source in Nebraska is a lot of work for one lone high school kid. Smell Nebraska is looking for smug, opinionated, unreliable, and difficult to work with candidates for our Spring 2019 internship program. Our positions range from taking photos of the miserable losers getting drunk at 2pm on a… Continue reading Apply for Smell Nebraska’s Spring 2019 Internships

TLDRsdays, white people

Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

Lincoln NE (SN) - The first signs of spring have sprung, and Lincolnites everywhere rejoice that they can finally stop complaining about everything. “It’s been a long, hard winter for sure,” says fed up Lincoln resident Barry Tatum. “I sure am worn out, but they should have got those snowplows out sooner during that big… Continue reading Lincoln Citizens Exhausted from Complaining About Everything

nebraska strong, thoughts & prayers

Ricketts Decrees April 7th as Statewide Day of Prayer, God: “Thank U, Next.”

Lincoln NE (SN) - Due to the unprecedented flooding and destruction the state has endured over the last month, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts has declared April 7th as a Statewide Day of Prayer. Ricketts, eschewing the constraints of the separation of church and state and channeling his inner Charlemagne, issued the phony baloney proclamation on… Continue reading Ricketts Decrees April 7th as Statewide Day of Prayer, God: “Thank U, Next.”

politics, potholes

Cyndi Lamm Begins Work on the South Lincoln Beltway

Lincoln NE (SN) - In an effort to prove she is the right pick to be Lincoln’s next mayor, Cyndi Lamm began work on the much anticipated South Lincoln Beltway. “Lincoln has dragged it’s feet on this project for too long. It’s time someone actually did something about it and that someone is me.” Lamm,… Continue reading Cyndi Lamm Begins Work on the South Lincoln Beltway