lincoln is a music city

Fyre Festival’s Billy McFarland Promises Lincoln Exposed 2019 Will Go Smoothly

Lincoln NE (SN) – Star City bands growing nervous of the overall legitimacy of this year’s Lincoln Exposed festival were heaving sighs of relief Monday, after the festival’s promoters promised “the most hype AF Lincoln Exposed ever.”

“We know that all of the bands found out if they were playing, the date, time, and location they were performing just a week and a half ago, but I promise we are organized and ready to get lit fam,” said former entrepreneur and mastermind behind the failed “Fyre Festival,” Billy McFarland, who was recently added as a late-breaking Lincoln Exposed promoter.

McFarland, via prison, has been reserving his collect calls to assist in the finishing touches of Lincoln Exposed.

“Local music is great, but the festival needed more oomph,” the convicted felon said in a phone interview. “Imagine… joining super hot babes on a jet ski on Holmes Lake in the brisk, February air. Luxury cabins are being built inside of the old Pershing Auditorium, Ja Rule will be hanging out at O’Rourke’s drinking Hennessy, or whatever is closest to Hennessy at O’Rourke’s.”

Plowed ice lake road in Minnesota.
Lincoln Exposed organizer Billy McFarland on Holmes Lake last week.

With “Premium Exposed” passes selling like hot-cakes, and the addition of Blink 182 to the Thursday night line-up at Bodega’s, McFarland said with confidence that his crew will be instrumental in Lincoln Exposed 2019 being the most incredible festival in the history of the Midwest.

But as with any big event, Lincoln Exposed is not without it’s hangups. Event producer Andy King related his story of how he needed to resolve a major issue with the festival. “Billy called me up and let me know there was a problem, and since I was their big gay leader I needed to fix it. I literally drove home, I took a shower, I drank some mouthwash, and I’m like “Oh my gosh I’m really doing this…” and I got in my car and drove to The Zoo Bar, to take one for the team, fully prepared to suck Otto Meza’s dick so that Night Push could get a better set time. But he couldn’t have been nicer and he agreed to let Night Push play at 10 instead of 9.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s