crime, hot wings

Watering Hole Moving Fourth Location from Haymarket to Lancaster County Jail

Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln inmates are in for a treat as the Watering Hole will be moving their fourth location to the Lancaster County Department of Corrections, located on 3801 West O Street. "This part of the cell block hasn't normally had any options in terms of casual fine dining," smiled Alfonzo Patterson, prisoner… Continue reading Watering Hole Moving Fourth Location from Haymarket to Lancaster County Jail

From the editor, politics

Facebook Friends “Delighted” to Read Your Pompous Mansplaining About Democratic Presidential Candidates

No one knows more about the highest political office, held entirely by grumpy straight males, than grumpy straight males like you. You're a political junkie, and the 2020 race has officially started. Time to whip your dick out and start measuring it publicly. How else are your followers going know that Bernie Sanders just isn't… Continue reading Facebook Friends “Delighted” to Read Your Pompous Mansplaining About Democratic Presidential Candidates

enjoy your v.d.

Entire Heart Shaped Valentino’s Pizza Not Enough to Fill the Emptiness Inside

Lincoln NE (SN) - Determined to take on another Valentine's Day alone, Michael McDermont, 36, gently nestled a boxed pizza in the shape of a heart onto his beer can cluttered coffee table. "It has become kind of a tradition," McDermont told reporters, "I love being single. Don't have to worry about nothin'." Michael carefully… Continue reading Entire Heart Shaped Valentino’s Pizza Not Enough to Fill the Emptiness Inside

lincoln is a music city

Fyre Festival’s Billy McFarland Promises Lincoln Exposed 2019 Will Go Smoothly

Lincoln NE (SN) - Star City bands growing nervous of the overall legitimacy of this year's Lincoln Exposed festival were heaving sighs of relief Monday, after the festival's promoters promised "the most hype AF Lincoln Exposed ever." "We know that all of the bands found out if they were playing, the date, time, and location… Continue reading Fyre Festival’s Billy McFarland Promises Lincoln Exposed 2019 Will Go Smoothly

fashion, white people

A Smell Nebraska Special Report: America in Crisis

Omaha NE (SN)- The United States is grappling with one of the worst crises in the history of our nation. It is a crisis that permeates all levels of society. It is a crisis that seemingly can’t be stopped. It is the onesie party epidemic that is now a fixture in every town, city, and… Continue reading A Smell Nebraska Special Report: America in Crisis