smell the kids, weather

LPS Closes School for Rest of Winter 2019, “It Might Snow.”

Lincoln NE (SN) – Following National Weather Service meteorologists forcasts that Nebraskans may experience some winter weather conditions during the remaining winter months of 2019, Lincoln Public Schools had no choice but to close until Spring.

We sat down with LPS Superintendent Dr. Steve Joel to discuss the chilling decision.

“Our hands were tied.” Joel told reporters. “If snow is at all possible, then it is just as likely that our children would have to come in contact with that snow. Even worse, the parents and guardians of the students would have to try to drive over said snow.”

The Superintendent then shared a special message to the public.

“Please. Stay indoors. In five short months you can leave your homes again. Also be sure to head over to Super Saver and pick up a couple gallon jugs of water and some chicken broth. Just in case.” Dr. Joel stressed to our reporters.

For Highlands mother Trisha Kemp, snow days are just a walk in the park anymore.

“Here are about twenty seven jugs of water in the pantry, there are more in the garage. I’m not even sure what I would do with these during a winter storm, but Super Saver keeps selling them to me.” Kemp told reporters.

When asked about an impromptu snow day at home with her children, the mother shrugged.

“Oh my children are both in their mid to late forties, they don’t live with me anymore, and they had to work at their jobs today, regardless.” Trisha gushed.

Lincoln resident, Todd Krakauer was less than thrilled at the news. “My 4 kids need school. They need to learn. They need to leave the house. They’ve had 3 days off in a row now and I can’t take it anymore! I told my family I was going to Super Saver for bottled water, but I really just wanted to drive my Ford Mustang into this ditch on purpose. Please don’t call anyone to pull me out. I can’t go back there!”

All LPS School and activities are scheduled to resume on Wednesday March 20th 2019, the last day of Winter.

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