Lincoln NE (SN) – With some going as far as to say it is a “holiday miracle,” a 19 year-old Ramos Pizza delivery driver is claiming to have completed a delivery late Saturday night to a recipient who was not under the influence of any drugs or alcohol.
“They tipped and everything” said Paul Fink, who has been delivering for Ramos for the better part of 2018. “I knew something was weird when they opened the door after the first knock. The guy, accompanied by a few friends, made direct eye contact, and I would almost say he and his guests were actually polite and calm in our exchange. They had their money ready to go and everything. It was bizarre.”
Fink further elaborated as to just how differently his delivery routine usually carries out.
“There are a few norms” he laughed. “I mean you have the people that don’t tip anything because they are shit-faced and pissed off that their drunk roommate ordered pizza they are incapable of paying for, or the people who are like black out high. You can consider yourself royalty if you’re bringing a pie to those fucking weirdos.”
The driver completed his interview with reporters with some mixed feelings.
“I mean, I’m prepared for some drunk guy to pin me down and force me to taste the pepperoni cream cheese pizza or barbecue brisket pizza as if I’ve never tasted it,” he then grew quiet. “It is always pretty awkward but it is usually followed by a free dab or a can of beer for the road. I need that shit. I’m a fucking delivery driver for Ramos Pizza for fuck’s sake.”