Lincoln NE (SN) – Interns for Congressman Jeff Fortenberry have had a busy weekend, as they have been forced to call each individual who liked a picture on Facebook of a vandalized Fortenberry campaign sign.
“It’s been a long weekend,” says staff intern Ben Samuels. “I have to figure out who these people are, their phone number, and where they work. Then I have to call them and threaten them with the possibility of losing their jobs unless they unlike the picture or make it a red faced angry-frowny emoji, or they promise to vote Republican on Tuesday. We as a society can’t condone vandalism and by liking a picture on Facebook that is exactly what they are doing. After seeing Jeff openly weep thinking about being called, ‘Fartenberry,’ well, this is the least I can do. He’s very sensitive.”
Fortenberry’s top aide, Dr. William “Reyn” Archer III, was more forthright in his convictions. “There is absolutely no place in our political system for googly-eyes. What are we as a people? Savages? Sure, I may have gotten in a little bit of trouble 18 years ago as the Texas Department of Health commissioner for mildly racist statements and policies, but googly-eyes is where I draw the line. We can’t allow these libtard professors or anyone else to encourage vandalism and violence, and googly-eyes. They go low, we go lower. That’s our motto.”
You can read all about Dr. William “Reyn” Archer III and the Texas Department of Health here:
As for the intern Samuels, he has to keep plugging away. “I made it to the D’s. Only 1,500 more people to call and threaten and I can go home. This would have been much easier before Reyn called that professor and made a big deal about this. There were only 150 likes at that time. Thanks a lot Reyn.”