halloween, political correctness

“Pissy, Know-It-All, Offended, Social Justice Warrior” Deemed Only Non-Offensive Halloween Costume

Lincoln NE (SN) – It is Halloween in the Star City, and drunken college students are eagerly putting the finishing touches to a wild array of costumes to wear downtown tonight so that one of their friends on social media can become horribly offended.

“Oh you’re a breathalyzer. Well, as someone that has gotten three DUI’s, I don’t get the joke” Austin Zweibel commented on a photo on Instagram.

The UNL Junior Marketing Major had announced last week that he would be spending the night in, but not in regards to his possible drinking problem or lack of a ride downtown.

“Sexy Pocahontas? Racist. Offensive.
Sexy Nurse? Sexist. Offensive.
Dracula? Womanizer. Offensive.
Ninja Turtle? Two Words: Drinking Straw. Offensive.
Eleven from Stranger Things? Season 2 was a total let down. Offensive.
Donald Trump? Promoting the far right. Offensive.
Bernie Sanders? Yeah not liberal or socialist enough for me. Very offensive.” Zweibel posted on his Facebook.


Austin continued by shooting down any costumes portraying any character from any form of entertainment ever.

“Don’t get me fucking started on costumes depicting characters from the Marvel Universe” he shouted. “It is just wrong for someone to be quoting lines from the movies, and in costume! I reserve a very specific hatred for those that spoil movies and television shows.”

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