road rage, traffic report

Entirety of 27th Street Lincoln to Be Reduced to a Single Lane Construction Zone Forever

Lincoln NE (SN) – Lincoln road workers have been busy on many of the city’s major arteries of commute for months, resulting in a slew of complaints about slow traffic, and Lincoln city officials wondering if the progress should stay permanent to avoid backlash.

“I guess their reasoning is, if it stays shitty forever, it will become the new normal” Local road crew worker Mitch Flegal told reporters. “I’m happy to be getting a paycheck before Christmas time.”

Foreman Flegal’s extensive workload will certainly require him to earn this paycheck, however.

27th02.jpg
Is this real life.

“We have to lay cones, hang lights, and mount signs along 27th street from north Superior, all the way to Yankee Hill” Mitch said. “We’re narrowing down the entire stretch to one lane, well one and a half if you include the merge stops. It is a fucking nightmare. Hey it’s Halloween time!”

While Tuesday afternoon’s start of the unending traffic construction sparked up a wildfire of negativity from residents of the capital city, Flegal is taking his work obligations with stride.

“I have always told this super original joke about Nebraska only having two seasons: Winter, and construction” he chuckled. “My joke is only gonna get funnier thanks to old 27th street, plus I have had seven DUI’s so my driving days are long gone. Doesn’t affect me one bit.”

Stuck in traffic? Engage in conversation with other Smell Nebraska readers while you drive!

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