politics, poop

Eastridge Pool Pooper Revealed to be Senator Deb Fischer

Lincoln NE (SN) – It seems that Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE) has been making some shitty decisions lately, including public defecation.

Fischer was identified by LPD a little over two weeks after the Eastridge Pool in Lincoln shared some surveillance footage of the notorious “pool pooper” on their Facebook page.

“We are happy the mystery has been put to rest” the Eastridge Pool owner updated the public on social media. “Oh, and just in case there are any “copycats” out there, we have increased security and surveillance. We’ve got an eye on you, Sasse!”

Surveillance footage of the Republican Senator Debbing at the Eastridge Pool.

Senator Fischer did not deny any of the accusations, but was quick to dismiss the severity of her actions.

“I took a couple dumps” she told reporters. “I was being funny. It wasn’t that big of deal. It isn’t like I voted to appoint a gang-rapist to the Supreme Court… Oh yeah I did that this month too. What can I say? I’m sorry. You people are too sensitive.”

Senator Deb Fischer recently changed her campaign slogan to #DumpTheVote coming into her midterm election race against Democratic challenger Jane Raybould next month.

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