Lincoln NE (SN) – The 300 year old witch who lives under Memorial Stadium has confessed to putting a curse on the Husker football team. At a press conference held near the woolly mammoth statue in front of Morrill Hall, Cornelva made her wicked plot known.
“The Nebraska Cornhuskers will indeed fall prey to hype and high hopes. Even the most fickle fans will feel compelled to pledge their undying love for Scott Frost. But, before the post-game press conference after the 4th loss of the season, Coach Frost will jam his thumb putting away a tackle wheel that was left out by his slovenly players. The team will fall into chaos and will not win a game until the first frost of the season breaks the spell.” Cornelva hissed at the gathered crowd of mostly drama students who thought it was part of the UNL adaptation of Wicked.
Scott Frost has refused to comment on whether or not he did in fact jam his thumb before Saturday’s post-game press conference, but his sour mood during the press conference did resemble that of a man in pain. He has also been seen wearing a thumb brace.
When pressed for details on how the curse came to be, Cornelva revealed that the season was doomed before it even began.
“I summoned an electrical storm right as the first game of the season got underway using a special incantation I developed when I heard that Scott Frost got the job as Head Coach.” Cornelva screeched before launching into a shorthand version of the spell.
“Ear of corn, fall deaf tonight.
Tunnel walk, before skies alight
with thunderous applause.
This team won’t win before we see Santa Clause…”
The summoned witch storm that followed resulted in the cancellation of the only winnable game of the season.
“It has long been rumored that the ‘97 championship team was really big into witchcraft,” said Dr. Baltus Montgomery, professor of Husker sports lore for the University. “I had hoped the rumors were untrue, but this seems to confirm it.”
We were able to find some disgruntled tweets from Cornelva last year that seem to point to Scott Frost not providing her with tickets to watch his UFC team win the American Conference Championship last season.
“Yeah, you see this a lot with witches,” continued Dr. Montgomery. “They get really bent out of shape when you don’t give them what they want. Let’s hope for a short fall, or this is going to be a long season.”
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