Lincoln NE (SN) – The Lancaster County District Attorney’s office has issued warrants for the arrests of Big Daddy Caleb and The Chargers due to failure to pay child support and tens of thousands of dollars in unpaid credit card charges.
Big Daddy Caleb is thought to have fathered children in nearly every stop his band has played, as women find him irresistible and can’t control themselves against his sexual wilds. More women have come forth in recent days claiming that Big Daddy is their big baby daddy and that he needs to support his offspring. Big Daddy Caleb’s only response to these charges has been to sing a 6 minute blues ballad about how hard life on the road can be when you are in a touring soul funk band and how he can’t be tied down to any one woman.
As for The Chargers, the 5 piece instrument section has racked up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt, and defaulting on all payments. A recent raid on The Chargers practice space turned up 14 Les Paul sunburst guitars, 18 black suits with skinny ties, 14 tribly hats, and 55 fur coats thought to belong to keyboardist Jeremiah Weir.
The band was also recently cited for felony abuse of a wah-wah pedal, and were issued another citation for allowing more than one band member to wear a hat on stage at a time.
Citizens are asked that if they see Big Daddy and The Chargers to please avoid falling into the groove of the funky bass beat and notify authorities.