beverages, white people

Hastings Takes Kool-Aid Days 2018 to New Levels, Enhancing Water Supply With “Great Bluedini” Flavoring

Hasting NE (SN) – The birthplace of Kool-Aid is oozing with anticipation for this year’s Kool-Aid Days festival, with hundreds of local residents taking initiative to cover every last little touch to take the festival to the next level before Friday’s kick-off.

From volunteers assisting the park’s department to clean up the Hastings Aquacourt to ensure the “Jammers Boat Races” go off without a hitch, to local business making late breaking changes to their floats for the “Kool-Aid Days Grand Parade,” the city of Hastings and Hastings Utilities have begun the long-requested adjustment to the city’s water supply.

“We have started slowly dropping pounds of Great Bluedini flavoring in the water supply” said Hastings Utility employee Buck Huttner. “We want to get the ratio right before it is too late, but yes, the tap water is already running blue. I am so hyper right now!”

Excited attendees that are reading this have already looked at their ticket’s indicating this year’s flavor is “Wild, Wild, Watermelon.” Why Great Bluedini you are wondering?

A toilet full of Great Bluedini.

“We thought it would be a little taboo to use the Wild, Wild, Watermelon” Huttner told reporters. “I mean imagine your tap water, your shower, your toilet water, running a pinkish/red hue. Reminds me of the shining or some shit. I. AM. SO. HYPER!!!!!!”

Hastings Family Dental Care, on 212 W State Road, are reportedly setting up “toothbrush stations” in different areas of the community over the weekend to try to prevent citywide tooth decay.

Hastings Kool-Aid Days is kicking off Friday, August 10th and finishing late Sunday the 12th. Instagram sugar high idiots with blue mouths belting out lyrics at the Luke Mills concert and tag @SmellNebraska.

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