downtown lincoln, Technology, the environment

1867 Bar to Change Name to 4867 Bar, Serve Everything in Stainless Steel

Lincoln NE (SN) – After an announcement that downtown Lincoln’s 1867 Bar would be phasing out plastic straws, offering $1 metal straws as an alternative, the bar decided it would be best to just make everything there stainless steel.

The drinking straw decision has been gaining in popularity worldwide in lieu of the environmental impact the waste of plastic leaves behind.

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4867 Bar is going green! Well, like, a metallic silver? Platinum?

“Did you know the USA uses 500 million straws every day (enough straws to circle around the Earth 2.5 times!, that’s a lot of trash and potential litter.” Bar owner Kelsey Graves posted on the official 1867 Bar Facebook page. “Why should we stop with plastic though? Wood and glass are also riddling our landfills, and it is expensive. Steel is the way to go, and can be melted down into whatever we need!”

With steel doors, steel windows, steel bar-stools, floors, walls, cups, steel giant Jenga, bottles, and beyond, the establishment will suddenly appear a lot more like a bunker from the flash-forwards in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Thus, warranting the name change.

“We were so focused on creating a better future for our planet that we literally became the future” Graves told reporters. “4867 Bar will be a stainless steel paradise, complete with A.I. bartender-bots, local craft beers, and live music and comedy.”

Would an entirely stainless steel metal bar and venue exclusively host metal bands? One bartender voiced his opinion.

“I sure hope it isn’t only metal bands” he frowned. “Everyone in Lincoln knows that metal bands and their fans don’t tip for shit.”

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