weather alerts

National Weather Service Predicts Summer in Nebraska May Be a “Smidge Humid”

SNW7

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URGENT - IMMEDIATE BROADCAST REQUESTED

Swass Warning Number 114

NWS Storm Prediction Center Lincoln NE

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0820 AM EDT Wed Jul 11 2018

The NWS Storm Prediction Center has issued a

*Extreme humidity conditions for all portions of Lancaster 
County

*Effective this Wednesday morning and evening from 0920 AM 
until early September

1150 PM EDT

*Primary threats include...

Sweat, chafing, body odor, body odor from people around 
you, hot blow dryer like air, and snooty Facebook friends
reminding us to keep our dogs safe like we are totally
stupid idiots

intense overall bitching on social media possible

Scattered pockets of incredibly stinky homeless people
predicted to congregate in shady areas. Avoid all hobo
hangouts and try to stay indoors.


SUMMARY...It is the season called summer and it is 
indeed summertime. The sun is shining and Lancaster
county has hot summers. Nebraska also has cold, snowy
winters, and a really tired joke about some "construction
season"


PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

REMEMBER...Water helps keep you hydrated. If you are
tempted to complain on social media about the weather,
Poor water on your iPhone 4

Gold bond over-the-counter skin care products
STAY INDOORS!

&&


...Terry

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