failed businesses, nostalgia, shopping

38 Year Old Toys ‘R’ Us Kids Finally Forced to Grow Up

Lincoln NE (SN) – Lincoln’s Toys ‘R’ Us is closing their doors for good this Friday, leaving many adults reflecting and mourning what is being called “the death of the toy store.”

The store, located at 5220 N. 27th St, is among most remaining stores across the nation to close it’s doors after Toys ‘R’ Us announced they were going out of business in March citing that repeated attempts to restructure in bankruptcy failed.

“It was a staple to my childhood. My parents took me there once a month to buy a new Tiger electric game when I was a boy,” sniffled Lincoln father Benjamin Judson. “I always wanted to ask my nine year old Jonathan if he could put his iPad down for a half hour to go there and buy something, but I never did. I will never forget you!”

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Toys ‘R’ Us Relic Geoffrey the Giraffe says goodbye.

Other Lancaster county parents jumped at the opportunity to visit the store one last time, as the company was offering a once in a lifetime closeout sale.

“I’m sorry I am crying so much!” South Lincoln mother Nicole Welsh apologized to reporters. “My parents used to take me here to buy my Barbies when I was a little girl. I heard they had great close out deals on games for this XBox thing I bought for my son Dillon on Amazon Prime so he is really excited. I can’t believe Toys ‘R’ Us is closing forever I’m so sorry I am crying again.”

Nicole cried all the way to neighboring Cici’s Pizza and proceeded to eat enough Mac & Cheese pizza to pass out in one of the booths. If anyone has any information regarding the whereabouts of Dillon Welsh (6) he was last seen in an orange “Despicable Me” tank top and is in possession of over $1,200 in stolen Toys ‘R’ Us merchandise.

UPDATE: We have heard from many sources that the vacant building will be absorbed by the nearby Dollar Tree budget department store, who promises to maintain their “only one cashier on duty at all times” policy.

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