entertainment, omaha

CenturyLink Center to be Renamed “For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here Center”

Omaha NE (SN) – Low attendance numbers and an overall lack of enthusiasm for arena shows in general has lead the CenturyLink Center to changing its name to “For the Love of God Please Attend An Event Here” Center.

Numerous buildings have changed names recently, as The Creighton Medical Center announced that they are changing their name to “Applebee’s Fun Plex,” and the Sarpy County Courthouse will now be know as the “Capital One Quicksilver Cashback Galleria.” While it is not official yet, there are rumors that The Woodmen Tower may soon be changing its name to “Arby’s – We Have The Meats Skyscraper.”

We spoke with CenturyLink employee Roy Horton for details on the arena’s new moniker.  “Nebraskans are becoming a tad simpler” he told reporters. “You gotta name your business something exciting, or at least something easy to understand.”

Horton was quick to deny that the arena’s waning success had anything to do with Lincoln opening their own Pinnacle Bank Arena in 2013.

The twenty-four people that attended the Imagine Dragons “Evolve Tour” last night.

“That has to be the stupidest name of a business I have ever heard. There is no way anybody goes there.” he said.

The employee was confident that the event schedule for the arena is top notch, and the name change is all they will need to fill their 17,560 seats.

“Earlier this month we hosted the 2018 International Fuel Ethanol Workshop & Expo for three days in a row. I mean these are incredibly entertaining events!” Horton shouted. “Last night we had Imagine Dragons performing! They may be one of the biggest and most talented bands of all time! I know I love them. Well I’ve never heard their music, but I imagine they are really good.”

What would you call the arena? I can’t believe you are still reading. Email your opinions, secrets, and Killary Clinton memes to SmellNebraska@gmail.com.

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