A Penny For Your Snoughts, Advice Column

Ask Mr. Nose It All 6/12/2018

Back with more advice after a digital flood of submissions! Life stinks? Email Mr. Nose It All today at SmellNebraska@gmail.com with the subject line “HELP! We also accept Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, and Instagram DMs.
Our first submission comes from the junk folder on Gmail.

(1 of 2)
Prince Marco is my name , 23 yrs old From Yiraia Town and a Sierra Leonean by nationality.

I am presently residing in North RB as a result of war that ravaged my country couple of years ago. And the story can be seen here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sierra_Leone_Civil_War

I wanted to facilitate this agreement by myself, but I am relatively new to this environment, and so seek your assistance to help me claim the 400 kg alluvial gold my late mother deposited with Gold Planet Sarl here in Benin Republic.

Please if you can be trusted and capable to handle this with me in full confidence & trust, I will forward to you the evident deposit of the Gold when you comply. You will be compensated very well immediately the gold is sold at your end through your assistance. Email me with below contact.

Sincerely,
Prince Marco


Marco, my dude!

Of course we will help you! I hope you received my original reply three days ago with my bank account, routing number, and mother’s maiden name. 
My address is 4730 South Street Lincoln, NE, USA 68506. I am fully prepared to put you up in the states as long as you need. My mom is good for it.
Call me as soon as you see this, Marco. Ask for Smell Nebraska.
Mr. Nose It All. (402) 261-4140

(2 of 2)
Help!
How do I let guys know I don’t want to date them? I’m into hooking up and all but in the morning I don’t want anything else. Am I too harsh? Should I lie? I need your take.
 
Single Lady

Dear adjectives and nouns I can never use while speaking to a woman regarding this particular topic in 2018. 

Umm…
At a risk of “mansplaining,” “manspreading,” “manning the ship,” being “da man,” and other stupid plays on words…
You go girl.
The world is your boyster, and if you want to “hit it and quit it” as they say, there is this breathtaking series called “Jersey Shore” where the antagonists literally ship their partners off in taxis in the morning. 
They use this “Cabzahee” magic word, and it could be a big enhancement to your squad goals.
You do what you want.
I support you, and I am single and interested. You can visit me at 4730 South Street Lincoln, NE, USA 68506 anytime. You can also call me at (402) 261-4140. Just ask for Mr. Nose It All. I’ll be gone before you wake up.

Life stinks? Email Mr. Nose It All today at SmellNebraska@gmail.com with the subject line “HELP! We also accept Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, and Instagram DMs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s