Smell Nebraska is Broke, TLDRsdays

Smell Nebraska Wants in on This “Give to Lincoln Day” Money

Lincoln NE (SN) – Today marks the seventh annual Give to Lincoln Day, and Smell Nebraska wants to know, where the cash at?

Being the most exclusive news source in the Midwest costs a waterfall of Mountain Dew, our writers push the limits of advanced DSL internet technology to conduct extensive research on Wikipedia, and just keeping the lights on in my mom’s basement at the end of the day costs… whatever my mom pays for utilities and groceries.

Today, you could make a modest donation to the Food Bank of Lincoln, who pulled in the most money in last year’s Give to Lincoln Day, or give us your money. They literally made the most money last year, they’ll be fine. Put your stock in Smell Nebraska.

I don’t want you to find out where my mom lives, and I certainly don’t want you to know who I am, so that eliminates checks, money orders, bank accounts, PayPal, Venmo, Facebook money, Snapchat Snapcash (@touch_people,) and GoFundMe. We need to think about this for a minute.

Pickleball Lincoln Inc was formed after the completion of the 6 courts at Peterson Park to help raise funds to improve the facility, and also continue to find additional future options. You can help them immensely by pulling out your wallet and giving them a fair donation today.

givetolincolnday02
Pickleball Lincoln Inc | Who has already raised $8,975.00 as of 1:22 AM.

Or you can generously place $25/$50/$100/$1000 cash in a sealed envelope, and drive to the Dickey’s Barbecue Pit on East Highway 2. Once there order a Bangers and Mac Smoke Stack for $5.49 and head to the men’s room while they prepare your order. In the men’s room is a baby changing table that is used five times a year, strap your envelope into the drop-down plastic table and return it to it’s original position.

Enjoy that Jalapeno cheddar kielbasa with baked potato casserole on the ride home. You gave to Lincoln today!

Srsly tho. How does an anonymous fake business make real money on an anonymous fake news website? Cryptocurrency. Send us all your worthless bitcoins here:

1FinZc2dwybzpHCU9mJCgQ5ghT21o9kSSA

Cool beans. Just email us at Smellnebraska@gmail.com if you want the addresses to send us any other sort of Cypto or go on a date with me and my mom. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s