Smell Nebraska here with some super hot tips on an incredible Memorial Day weekend! It sounds like it is going to be a scorcher so get ready to party hearty!
Tip #1: Do not leave your house, and certainly don’t do any activities of any sort and post about them to your social media. You are friends with at least two people on Facebook that are at this very moment sitting on the most pompous meme about supporting our fallen soldiers on Memorial Day. They have absolutely no affiliation or history with the United States military, but they will smile in their basketball shorts while posting their snide buzz-killing remarks to social media. They plan to shatter the spirits of anyone planning on grilling hot dogs, going to the lake, or enjoying a nice park on your day off. Don’t let them have this! Stay in! Watch Saving Private Ryan and Born on the Fourth of July on Amazon Instant Video. Cry your eyes out. You may be a veteran yourself or have lost loved ones to war but you can’t have fun this weekend. Smell Nebraska supports the troops, but we need to focus on the dickweed Facebook trolls first, remember them? The high they got from arrogantly lecturing their Facebook feed on election day is waning. We’ve almost forgotten that their solution to deciding which Democratic Gubernatorial candidate has the best chance of defeating Pete Ricketts is by not voting at all because no candidate is perfect enough for them, and they are starting to itch. Maybe you can still have that epic grill out and take out the jet skis this weekend, the weather will be absolutely perfect for it, but maybe go incognito, and maybe leave your iPhone at home. Good god, let’s just not let them think they ruined our fun this time. God bless America.
Well that is it for the tips, happy Memorial day weekend!!!